Search Results for "negotiator"
Share August 14, 2004's comic on:
Asok: I demand a raise or else I will quit today. the Boss: Goodbye. Asok: Noooo!!! please let me stay! I'll work every weekend for free!!! The boss: Okay. Dilbert: were you correct that your superior intelligence makes you a superb negotiator? Asok: Please shut up.
Share October 13, 2003's comic on:
The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."
Share August 08, 1999's comic on:
A salesman sits with his briefcase across from Dilbert. The salesman says, " a tough negotiator, but I think we have a deal." The salesman hands Dilbert a piece off paper and says, "Just sign the contract and we'll deliver the equipment." Dilbert reads and says, "This contract is totally different from what we agreed." The salesman thinks, "Must act suprised." and says, "Really?" dilbert says, "Why are you spring all these conditions on me at the last minute?" The sales man says, "No onwe has ever complained before." Dilbert says, "Can I borrow your briefcase for a minute?" and takes the briefcase. The salesman says, "Um... okay." dilbert drops the briefcase off a balcony. The salesman says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert says, "No one has complained before."
Share March 13, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I need your help to negotiate with my boss for more telecommuting days." Dogbert replies, "I'm too logical to be a good negotiator. You need someone who is relentlessly irrational." Dilbert tells Ratbert, "Dogbert says you're an excellent negotiator, Ratbert." Ratbert shouts, "I'm insulted!!"
Share January 12, 1997's comic on:
The caption says, "Buying a car." Dilbert sits across from a car salesman's desk. The salesman says, "You're one tough negotiator." Dilbert replies, "Thanks." The salesman says, "It only took you four hours to get me all the way down to the manufacturer's suggested retail price." The salesman cries, "There's no profit left!! My family will go hungry!!" The man bawls. The salesman stops crying and says, "Sorry. I assume you want the rust inhibitor coating for only $500." Dilbert replies, "Um . . .Yeah. Rust is bad." The man jumps up and shouts, "Yes!! Ka-ching ka-ching!" The salesman says, "Sorry. We also have an invisible spray that protects against scurvy and tax audits." Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Okay." The salesman says, "Initial here if you want your airbag to be full of fresh aspen air instead of gravel." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Only $600." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "And the lease terms are engraved on this free hood ornament!" Dogbert replies, "Be glad they didn't install it."