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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #death, #partner, #automatic, #dentures, #willy, #wearing, #corn, #cob, #jacket, #unusual

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A police detective and an officer stand in Dilbert's doorway. The detective says, "We're investigating the death of you lab partner." Dilbert sits at a table with the men and explains, "It was the final test of the automatic dentures . . . Willy wasn't wearing his protective corn-on-the-cob jacket . . ." The detective asks, "Did you notice anything unusual?" Dilbert replies, "No, not really."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #radioactive, #dung, #beetle, #Dilbert, #waits, #acquire, #super, #powers

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The caption says, "Bitten by a radioactive dung beetle, Dilbert waits to see if he will acquire any super powers." Dilbert sits on a chair wearing a super hero suit. Dogbert sits next to him. The caption says, "But what kind of powers could you get from a bug who lives in dung?" Dilbert sits in his chair. Dogbert asks, "Feel anything yet?" Dilbert replies, "Just a wicked urge to enter politics."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #boss, #report, #reading, #anything, #sit, #feeling, #bottles, #beer, #wall

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk thinking, "I sit here motionless while the Boss reads my report." Dilbert thinks, "I can't talk while he's reading, and I don't have anything of my own to read . . ." The Boss reads the report and thinks, "I wonder how long I can make him sit there feeling uncomfortable?" Dilbert sings to himself, "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #testing, #theory, #advertising, #sell, #anything, #asked, #thing, #least, #desired, #earth, #ladies, #date, #quantities, #men and women

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert enters and says, "I'm testing my theory that good advertising can sell anything." Dogbert continues, "So I asked myself 'What is the thing LEAST desired on earth?'" A woman looks at a billboard with Dilbert's picture on it. The billboard says, "Ladies! Date a Dilbert call 510-803-9338. Quantities are limited." The woman says, "Hmm . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mild, #flu, #normally, #survive, #brief, #developed, #empathy, #die, #afford, #ambassador, #class, #service

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Dogbert says to a patient on the examining table, "You have a mild flu, and normally you would survive." Dogbert continues, "However, in this brief visit I've developed no real empathy for you, so I've decided to let you die." The man asks, "Is there anything I can do?!" Dogbert replies, "Well . . . Unless you can afford my new 'Ambassador Class' service."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #babies, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #instruction, #book, #newborn, #expert, #cheese steak

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair. Dilbert asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing an instruction book for newborn babies." Dilbert says, "You don't know anything about babies." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I'm not an expert, but compared to the people who have babies . . ." A man holds a baby upside down. A woman holding a sandwich asks, "Which end do I put the cheese steak in?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #whales, #extinct, #hear, #seeing-eye, #fetch, #paper, #drag, #mammals, #burning, #building

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on the computer. The Boss says, "Sometimes I wonder, how would MY life be different if all whales were extinct?" The Boss continues, "It's not like they do anything for us. You never hear of seeing-eye whales. They can't fetch the paper or drag you out of a burning building . . ." The Boss asks, "Don't you think the world has too many fat, worthless mammals?" Dilbert replies, "I was just thinking that, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #notice, #wearing, #contacts, #emergency, #backup, #system

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

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At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."