First Class Comic Strips - Page 2

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623 Results for First Class

View 11 - 20 results for first class comic strips. Discover the best "First Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #annoyance, #online class, #improve charisma, #stupid fake charisma, #weird

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Boss: Don't let anyone disturb me. I'll be taking an online class to improve my charisma. Carol: While you're doing that, I'll be taking an online class to learn how to ignore your stupid, fake charisma. BRING IT ON! Boss: Okay, this got weird.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business

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Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

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Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #helen, #asking, #date, #Women, #first-strike, #capability

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Dilbert picks up a ringing phone. Dilbert says, "Hello." The voice on the phone says, "This is Helen. We've never met but don't even THINK of asking me for a date . . . ever." Helen hangs up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Women got first-strike capability." Dogbert says, "Surrender."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #first, #date, #elvis, #sexy, #dead, #woman

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, I know it's only our first date, but what do you think of me?" The woman replies, "You remind me of Elvis." Dilbert thinks, "Sexy." The woman thinks, "Dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #flaps, #silhouette, #naked, #woman, #sexist, #neaderthal, #embarassed, #gender, #first, #thoughts

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Dilbert shows Dogbert a mud flap and says, "I bought some mud flaps with the silhouette of a naked woman." Dilbert continues, "With these on my car, women will think I'm a sexist Neanderthal, and men will be embarrassed to share my gender." Dilbert continues, "But now I'm having second thoughts." Dogbert says, "That implies you had first thoughts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #first time, #competitor, #audience, #camcorders, #mary kay, #mental, #imagery

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A comedian asks Dilbert, "Is this your first time?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah." Dilbert shakes nervously and beads of sweat fly off his forehead. The man says, "I know I'm supposed to be your competitor, but I'll share my technique of using mental imagery to relax." Dilbert says, "Thanks!" The man says, "Imagine that you're naked . . . And the audience is full of Mary Kay salespeople with camcorders . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #car, #salesman, #woman, #old, #steal, #purse, #drive, #foot, #boss, #convince, #first born, #son, #relatives

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Dogbert says to a customer, "I asked the boss to sell it at your price." Dogbert continues, "He told me to drive over your foot and steal your purse." Dogbert continues, "Buy maybe I can convince him to take your first-born son instead." The woman says, "He IS my first-born son!!"