Join Me Comic Strips - Page 2

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42 Results for Join Me

View 11 - 20 results for join me comic strips. Discover the best "Join Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #Dilbert, #cult, #enforcers, #hideous, #cynical, #nature, #organization, #part

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Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor across from Dogbert. Bob says, "We heard you're forming a cult. Can we join?" Dogbert says, "Hmm . . ." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . I could use some enforcers to help me conceal the hideous and cynical nature of my organization. You're in . . ." Bob raises his arms over his head and yells, "Yes! We made it!" Dawn asks, "Bob, should we ask about the hideous part?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult

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The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #anti-fur, #fur, #coat, #computer, #movement

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to join the anti-fur movement." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that hypocritical? You wear a fur coat every day." Dogbert replies, "Oh . . . Yeah, never mind . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Wait . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #brochure, #seminar, #management, #zombies, #utilize, #paradigm, #vertical, #empowerment, #proactive

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I got a brochure for 'Dogbert's Seminar on Management Zombies.' I think you should go." Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Learn how to use words like: utilize, paradigm, vertical, empowerment, and proactive in every sentence." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure I want to talk like that." The Boss says, "Come . . . Join us . . . Don't be afraid . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #Dilbert, #the boss, #productivity, #ted, #Wally

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I need to identify any unnecessary and unproductive employees so I can cut costs." The Boss asks, "Does anybody have spare time to join my task force on productivity?" Ted raises his hand and the Boss says, "Good, good . . . Anybody else?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #flicking fingers, #joyous celebration, #linked to pay, #success sounds like, #snappy sounds

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #adult, #males, #immune, #verbal, #abuse, #petrified, #cat, #spittle, #bee, #burp, #chocolate, #cake

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Dogbert says, "The great thing about adult males is that they've become immune to verbal abuse. Adult females may have something to do with it." Dogbert stands behind Dilbert and says, "Hey, you grotesque pile of petrified cat spittle . . ." Dilbert replies, "Hi, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Is that your head, or has some kind of zucchini sprouted from your torso?" Dilbert asks, "Would you like to join me for some chocolate cake?" Dogbert says, "If brains were beans, you wouldn't have enough to make a bee burp." Dilbert replies, "Hey! We don't insult bees in this house!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #disarray, #three hour lunch, #turn around, #distinguish, #dedication, #insanity

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Wally stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, our business plan is in complete disarray so we're taking a three-hour lunch. Want to join us?" Alice replies, "No, I've got to work harder than ever to turn this situation around!" Wally and Dilbert put their coats on and leave. Wally tells Dilbert, "Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between dedication and insanity." Dilbert asks, "Which one are we?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #perspective, #cafeteria, #management, #track, #oridnary, #executives, #lunch, #time

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Dilbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Thanks for your time, Dilbert. It's always good to get the technical perspective." Dilbert says, "Hey, it's lunchtime. Would you like to join me in the cafeteria?" The man replies, "Ooh . . . No, I couldn't do that." The man explains, "I'm on the management track, so I can't be seen eating lunch with you." The man continues, "If I'm seen with an ordinary employee then people will think I'm ordinary." The man continues, "I'd like to eat with the senior executives, but of course they don't want to be seen with me." The man slides under his desk and says, "So I've perfected a method of slipping quietly away at lunch time." Dilbert turns to the reader and says, "The scary part is that someday that man will be my boss."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #modern, #society, #traditions, #future, #generations, #tradition, #people, #annual, #nose, #sausage, #day, #shout, #kalookalah, #sun, #squirrel, #dance

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall in the park. Dilbert says, "The problem with modern society is that we have no traditions." Dilbert continues, "We should create some traditions for future generations." Dogbert asks, "How do you create a tradition?" Dilbert replies, "Well, you just do something ridiculous every year at the same time." Dilbert continues, "Eventually other people join in and then it's a tradition." Dogbert says, "Ooh, how about 'Annual Nose-Sausage Day'? You dress in colorful robes and stick sausages in your nose!" Dilbert says, "Yes, yes . . . And we'll do a squirrel dance and shout 'kaloo--kalah' at the sun!" Dilbert says, "Or maybe not." Dogbert says, "You lost me with the squirrel dance."