Noodle Sized Arms Comic Strips - Page 2
207 Results for Noodle Sized Arms
View 11 - 20 results for noodle sized arms comic strips. Discover the best "Noodle Sized Arms" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 13, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Here's how your marketing department can help retain your best engineers." The caption says, "Marketing gets an idea." A man points to a diagram and says, "We'll leverage our technology by building ant farms." The caption says, "Spreadsheets make the idea look profitable." The Boss and the man sit at a conference table. The man says, "The ant milk alone will be a positive NPV!" The Boss replies, "Wow!" He thinks, "What's an NPV?" The caption says, "Don't forget the 'worst case scenario.'" The man says, "Worst case, somebody builds a gigantic magnifying glass next door." The man contines, "Solution: bite-sized ant jerky!" The Boss says, "There's no risk!" The caption says, "An engineer will be assigned to the project." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Ant farms! Do it!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "The engineer will challenge the assumptions." Dilbert says, "You can't get a gallon of milk from an ant!" The Boss asks, "What do YOU know about marketing?" The caption says, "Result: the engineer will never leave the company." An interviewer asks Dilbert, "So . . . Your current job is 'Ant Farm Engineer'?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm doomed."
Share December 20, 2000's comic on:
Catbert says to Wally, "There will be no more Casual Dress Days." Catbert says to Wally, "We believe that employees work harder when they are wearing uncomfortable clothes." Dilbert is wearing a spacesuit. Wally, sitting in front of a computer and wearing a suit of armor, says to Dilbert, "I feel all motivated but I can't lift my arms."
Share November 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to a coworker, "...And I need it this afternoon." The coworker replies, "Forget it! I'm a short-timer." The coworker continues, "I plan to sit in this chair and not move my arms or legs for a week. After that, I'll never work another day!" The coworker concludes, "I hesitate to ask this, but I have an itch in an awkward place."
Share November 12, 2002's comic on:
The Boss approaches Asok and says, "Asok, go get the short-timer and push his chair to my office." Asok asks, "Is he injured?" The Boss replies, "No, he refuses to move his arms or legs until retirement." Asok is pushing the short-timer's chair and asks, "Are you a good example of what is called a 'piece of work?' The short-timer responds, "Except for the 'work' part."
Share March 02, 2005's comic on:
Share March 31, 2006's comic on:
The Marketing Guru "Consumers will buy our tractor-sized mp3 players if we offer something free with each one." "So we'll offer a free iPod with each sale, and free towing to the landfill for our mp3 player." "The rest is just pricing."
Share March 19, 2010's comic on:
Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."
Share May 28, 2013's comic on:
Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.
Share May 26, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.