Proposal Study Comic Strips - Page 2

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63 Results for Proposal Study

View 11 - 20 results for proposal study comic strips. Discover the best "Proposal Study" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogcart one hour course, #executive mba, #took money, #nothing in retrurn, #case study

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The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #study culture, #in company, #detailed recommendations, #docile outcast, #drinks brown water, #staple tracking device

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Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #online study class, #sexual harrasmnet, #don't have one, #happy actors

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Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment." The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment." Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #above average, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #top 110%, #study of managers, #percentages, #business

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Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #heart attack, #bad boss, #swedish study, #fall over, #feet up, #dead, #surprise, #business

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Wally says, "A Swedish study in 2009 showed that people with bad bosses had 40% more heart attacks." Coworker says, "Aaak!!!" Wally says, "I should want you that I'll probably tell this story a few times."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #reject proposal, #reason, #level of management, #authority, #get fired, #starve to death, #repharse, #question

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The Boss says, "I reject your proposal." Dilbert says, "Is there any particular reason this time?" The Boss says, "At my level of management I don't have the authority to approve anything important." The Boss says, "But I do have the authority to reject things." The Boss says, "If I don't reject proposals, there's nothing for me to do." The Boss says, "If I do nothing I'll get fired. I might never get another job. I could starve to death." The Boss says, "So I have to reject everything you propose or else I might die." Dilbert says, "What am I supposed to do now?" The Boss says, "Can you rephrase that question in the form of a proposal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prepare proposal, #prodcuts, #expertise, #figure out, #expensive bidder, #bid low, #essential upgardes, #randomly assigned, #create lies, #proposal, #can't win

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The Boss: "Prepare a proposal for this customer." Dilbert: "Why me?" "You were walking by. I had it in my head." "We can't win this business. We don't have the right products or expertise." The Boss: "Just say we do. We'll figure it out later." Dilbert: "They know we don't. And we'd still be the most expensive bidder." The Boss: "Bid low. We'll make it up with change orders and unexpected essential upgrades." Dilbert: "In other words, I've been randomly assigned to create lies for a proposal we can't win for a service we can't perform." The Boss: "You make competing sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #give decion, #more information, #study, #get information, #business case, #justify funding, #relief, #other deadlines, #laser like focus, #customer

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Dilbert walks into The Boss' office and says, "You need to give me a decision." The Boss replies, "You need to give me more information." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me funding to do a study to get the information." The Boss replies, "You need to give me a business case to justify the spending." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me relief from my other deadlines so I can work on the funding request." The Boss replies, "You need to give me everything to infinity." At that, The Boss jumps up from his chair and screams, "I WIN! YES!" Dilbert says to Wally, "We might be losing our laser-like focus on the customer." Wally responds, "On the who?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #email, #facts, #link to study, #Right, #science, #scientific study, #winning an argument

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Alice: I got your stupid email with your stupid link to that stupid scientific study. I don't care about your so-called "facts." I know I'm right! Dilbert: Winning an argument never feels like winning.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #interviews, #managers, #dumb decions, #particpate

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Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.