Search Results for "stomp tail"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #no real purpose, #rais eissues, #form action plans, #urge to stomp, #not very professional

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Ted and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for comimg to the meeting that has no real purpose." Ted says, "Maybe we could raise issues and then form action plans." Alice says, "I have an urge to stomp you to death." Ted says, "That's not very professional of you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #be competetive, #carpets, #Catbert, #evil director, #evil policies, #foot sizing program, #no compalints, #reduce wear and tear, #tail twitching, #wear shoes smaller

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk thinking, "My tail is twitching . . ." Catbert thinks, "That can only mean it's time to write some more evil policies." Catbert types, "To: all employees. Subject: new policy." Dilbert gets the e-mail message and reads, "Employees must wear shoes that are one size smaller than their feet." Alice reads, "This will reduce wear and tear on carpets by five percent." Catbert thinks, "This is my favorite part." He types, "We must do this to be competitive." A woman enters Catbert's office and says, "I'm a reporter for 'Evil HR Policies Weekly.' Do you have any success stories?" Catbert purrs. The caption says, "This is how industry practices are born." The journalist asks, "Has anyone complained about the 'Footsizing' program?" Catbert replies, "I haven't listened to a single complaint."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #microphone, #tail off camera, #makes me wag, #honest work

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert sits behind a desk in front of a camera. The cameraman hands him a microphone and says, "Clip this microphone to your fur. We're live in two." Dogbert responds, "Make sure my tail is off camera. I'll be recommending stocks I own and that sort of thing makes me wag." The cameraman thinks to himself, "Someday I gotta get honest work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #always a troll, #came to accounting, #had a look, #hair fell out, #horns and tail, #stopped gym, #finance troll, #accounting troll

View Transcript

Transcript

The troll sits at its computer. Dilbert asks, "Were you always a troll?" The troll responds, "No, this happened when I came to accounting." The troll continues, "First my hair fell out. Then I stopped going to the gym." Dilbert responds, "You have horns and a tail." The Troll replies, "When I realized I had a look going, I just went for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #brainstorm ideas, #employee morale enhancement, #pin the tail, #boss, #employees, #hatred, #low morale, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #evil, #cat, #director of human resources, #sales bonus, #raise target, #boss, #laugh, #point, #bend over, #tail, #annoyed, #support, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tall pants, #old fashioned, #hairpiece, #glove on tail, #money to treasury, #first primary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rock, #separation, #animal kingdom, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Some say it is man's ability to reason which separates him from mere animals." Dogbert says, "Yeah, but . . ." Dogbert continues, "Surely you realize that in the animal kingdom there is no equivalent to 'All-Star Wrestling.'" Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Ooh - we're missing it right now." Dogbert says, "Stomp your foot twice if you're following any of this at all."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #animal behavior, #skunk, #ice cream, #strawberry, #animals, #animal nature, #bowl, #arm chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yikes!!! A skunk in the house. Skunk: Hi. Oh, don't worry; we skunks only spray when we're scared... I certainly wouldn't use my threatening power to force you to do my bidding. Dilbert: Then why is your tail twitching?! Skunk: I'm scared you might not offer me a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #special, #bob, #animal behavior, #birds, #careless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the stairs holding a gadget. Dogbert says, "If Dilbert wanted me to have this when he died it must have been special to him. But what is it?" Bob the Dinosaur says, "We dinosaurs have a method for handling things we don't understand." Dogbert says, "Tell me." Bob replies, "We stomp it to bits and evolve into birds who don't care."