Telling Comic Strips - Page 2

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69 Results for Telling

View 11 - 20 results for telling comic strips. Discover the best "Telling" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

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Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #devil, #lettuce, #prince of insufficient light, #phil, #penalty

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Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Ha! The store under-charged me twelve cents, and I'm not telling them." Phil pokes Dilbert with his spoon and says, "Hey!" Dilbert says, "I know you. You're the Ruler of Heck, the 'Prince of Insufficient Light.'" Phil says, "Just call me Phil, please." Dilbert asks, "What's my penalty? Eternal damnation?" Phil says, "I'm just going to 'darn you' for fifteen minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #body, #language, #cuddle, #fireplace, #firewood, #date, #woman, #love, #love and dating

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Dilbert thinks, "I can tell what my date is thinking by her body language." Dilbert thinks, "Her body is telling me 'Let's cuddle by a fireplace. . .'" Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant and his date stands on her chair holding a chainsaw. Dilbert thinks, "'I'll get some firewood,' she says . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse

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The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #meat, #loaf, #johnson, #april, #form, #somebody, #dentures

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Dilbert and the Boss stand in the lab. The Boss asks, "Are you telling me that your automatic denture invention mistook Johnson for a meat loaf?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . Last April. I guess I should have told somebody." The Boss covers his face with his hands. Dilbert asks, "Is there a form I need to fill out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #electric, #razor, #burn, #face, #joke, #toaster, #shave, #problem

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #business, #Card, #romance, #interpreter, #dates, #translate, #male, #female, #language, #date, #women and men

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's my new business card. I'm a romance interpreter." Dogbert explains, "For a small fee I'll accompany you on dates and translate between male and female language." Dilbert, Dogbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "She's telling a pointless story about work. By annoying you in this way she hopes to form a closer bond."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men

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Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #optical, #server, #falling, #asleep, #police, #died, #disk, #engineering, #men and women, #boring

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Dilbert says to a woman, ". . . Then I said 'what about an optical disk file server.'" The woman thinks as she spills her coffee and starts to fall, "So boring, falling asleep . . ." Dilbert watches as the woman falls over backwards. Dilbert says to a police officer, "I don't know how she died. i was telling her about an optical . . ." The policeman falls asleep and begins to fall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck

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Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"