Air Vent Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dogbert says to a salesperon in a store, "I'd like your biggest map of the world for my room." Dogbert says to the clerk, "I'd like this for free. In return, after I conquer the world I'll make you ambassador to France." The salesclerk says, "Does that require travel? I get air sick." Dogbert replies, "No problem. You'll have diplomatic immunity."
Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, "My instinct tells me that love is in the air." There's a loud crash behind them. Dilbert and Dogbert walk to the window where a little angel sits on the floor in a pile of broken glass. The angel says, "Whoa! Who put the picture window there?" Dogbert says, "You must be the legendary love-cherub, 'Cupid.'" Cupid replies, "Good guess . . ." The angel continues, "But the proper pronunciation is 'STupid,' not 'Cupid.'" Dilbert says, "No wonder I always fall in love with the wrong person." Cupid struggles with his bow and arrow. He says, "Now how does this gizmo work?"
The Boss says to Alice, Dilbert and Wally, "We won the bid to rebuild our nation's air traffic control systems." Dilbert, Alice and Wally throw their arms up in celebration. Alice yells, "Yippeee!!!" Dilbert yells, "Yes!!" Wally yells, "To the phones!" The Boss walks away thinking, "They don't usually get that excited." Inside his cubicle, Wally says into the phone, "Buy a thousand shares of 'Bluehound Bus Lines.'"
Wally sits at his desk and thinks, "Wally writes the critical code for our nation's new air traffic control system. The crowd is silent." Wally thinks, "Suddenly the gifted programmer employs a rarely seen strategy of 'code reuse.' The crowd goes wild." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit a table eating lunch. Dilbert asks Wally, "So you used code from the payroll system?" Wally replies, "Here's a tip: don't fly on pay day."
Dogbert stands on an air traffic control panel. He says to the Boss, "Thanks to my leadership, the new air traffic control system is designed on time and under budget." Dogbert continues, "I had to cut a few corners. This big radar-looking thing is a wall clock. And most of the buttons are glued on." The Boss says, "It looks like it might be um . . . dangerous." Dogbert says angrily, "Great . . . I finish early and what do I get: 'feature creep.'"
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "My dominion over the planet is not widely recognized by the dolts who are breathing my air." Dogbert continues, "So I've declared total sovereignty over a small, ever-widening zone surrounding my body." Dilbert asks, "How big is the zone?" Dogbert says into a megaphone, "You have just entered Dogbertland. Please show your passport and leave the oxygen alone!"
Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."