Breaking Law Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

71 Results for Breaking Law

View 11 - 20 results for breaking law comic strips. Discover the best "Breaking Law" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags declare martial law, jailing ombudsmen, personal phone calls, recommend changes, shoot emplyees, shoot employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and The Boss sitting at table. Dogbert passes a memo to The Boss and says, "Although your company is very profitable, I wouldn't be much of a consultant if I didn't recommend changes." The Boss views the recommendations and says, "You recommend jailing our ombudsman and declaring martial law ... makes sense." The Boss asks Dogbert, "Then could I shoot employees who make personal phone calls?" Dogbert replies, "It's okay with me."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags downtrodden cubicle workers, form union, working conditions, salaried workers, against law, no overtime, no security, spines, demand bigger cucbilce, union dues, long hours, strap on spines

View Transcript

Transcript

"Hear me, all downtrodden cubicle workers!" "I have come to form a union to improve your working conditions!" "We can't join a union. We're salaried." "I think it's against the law, or something." "You've got long hours, no overtime, shrinking benefits and no job security. You must act now!" "You're confusing us with people who have spines." "Don't worry, I brought strap-on porta-spines for everybody." "I demand a bigger cubicle!" "Nobody will take advantage of us ever again!" "Now, let's talk about union dues." "Fair enough."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, mud delivery business, stockholders, huge profits, illeagal, no law, against optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you're going to Elbonia to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." The Boss continues, "Meanwhile, I'll tell our stockholders that we expect the mud delivery business to make huge profits." Dilbert says, "Um... is this illegal?" The Boss replies, "There's no law against optimism! I checked."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elections, online (web) news, patents, libor rates, higgs bison, patent law, electoral college

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Here's some news I don't understand about libor rates. Here's some news I don't understand about the Higgs boson. Remind me why we have news. Catbert: I think it has something to do with patent law and the electoral college.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags exploitation, surprise, international law, indentured servant, seq, stole an hour

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Asok, your meeting stole an hour of my life. According to international law, I may now claim you as my indentured servant. Asok: Wow. That... actually is a law. Alice: Or I'm really good at SEO.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goal, rewrite law, supply & demand, toss a purr

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Asok: I need a goal. What can I do to get a raise? Catbert: Try rewriting the law of supply and demand. Asok: Harsh. Catbert: I have to toss a purr your way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, meeting, reading, e-mail, memo, urging, congress, law, opposed, annoyed, ridicule, business, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), lawyer, feels wrong, research, harvard law degree, feelingl, greasy food and ignorance, data, harvard degree over cheeseburger, bad mood, science, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fiduciary responsibilty, maximize shareholder value, quality, safety, top priority, obeying law

View Transcript

Transcript

"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obliviousness, work ethic, lawyer, 60 page contract, amendements, 900 contracts, tax law, 17 managers, good leaders, standards, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.