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View 11 - 20 results for dilbert died comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Died" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #credit, #Card, #stupid, #banks, #computer, #righteous, #indignation, #department, #employee, #speaking, #reprogram, #mannual

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Dilbert reads a letter and tells Dogbert, "My credit card has been canceled. The stupid bank's computer thinks I died." Dilbert continues, "This is an opportunity for some righteous indignation. I love that." Dilbert dials the telephone. A customer service representative answers the phone and says, "Hello, credit card department, an underpaid employee speaking." The man says, "Well, yes, apparently you are alive, but it would be very difficult to reprogram the computer . . ." Dilbert replies, "I'm sure you'll find a solution." A woman at the bank asks, "Kill him?" The man replies, "Unless you'd RATHER read this computer manual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #emotion, #Dogbert, #mood, #e.t., #neighbor, #cat, #fat, #fool, #academy, #best, #dog, #frozen, #lavatory, #imagine, #passing, #sorrow

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Dilbert points a video camera at Dogbert and says, "Let's see some emotion, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "I need to be in the mood." Dilbert says, "Remember when it looked like 'E.T.' died, but really he didn't?" Dogbert sniffs like he is about to cry. Dilbert says, "The neighbor's cat says you're fat." Dogbert says angrily, "The fool!" Dilbert says, "Imagine you won an academy award for 'Best Dog.'" Dogbert looks surprised and says, "Me?!!" Dilbert says, "Imagine some frozen lavatory waste from a passing jet crashes through the roof and flattens me as I film this." Dogbert falls over and laughs. Dilbert asks, "Is that sorrow? It doesn't look like sorrow." Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #can't crush spirit, #work in box, #cubicle, #demoralize, #2 jobs, #coordinator died, #died of boredom, #quality assurance guys

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Dilbert sits at his computer and thinks, "They can make me work in a little box, but they can't crush my spirit." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our ISO 9000 Coordinator died of boredom. You'll have to do his job plus yours." Dilbert's head sinks to his chest as The Boss says, "And one of the Quality Assurance guys is looking pale..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #center balanced, #considered an earring, #died getting haircut, #jewelry, #laziness, #normal problems, #sleeping in chair

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Wally says, "I considered getting an earring to make myself more fascinating." Wally says, "But I spend a lot of time sleeping in my chair, so I need my head to be center balanced." Dilbert says, "You don't have normal problems." Wally says, "I almost died getting my hair cut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #died years ago, #exoskeleton project, #inventions, #obliviousness, #taking bones

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Boss: This is Barry. He has been working on our exoskeleton project for five years. Dilbert: Evidently Barry died years ago, and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. Boss: In my defense, that is only obvious after you say it.

Ted Died Last Week

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Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention, #medical

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Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

Dilbert Offers To Help

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Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

How Dilbert Can Help

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How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

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Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom

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Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #permission, #bumper stickers, #forgive

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The Boss: Dilbert, did you reconfigure the server without my permission? Dilbert: Let me consult my collection of bumper stickers for an answer. "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission." The Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers

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Dilbert Consults His Bumper Stickers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #government regulations, #marketing, #question authority

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CEO: Government regulations prevent us from marketing our products the way we want. What should we do? Dilbert: I'll consult my bundle of bumper stickers for some guidance. "Question authority." CEO: How did you get so smart?