Efficiency Experts Comic Strips - Page 2
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92 Results for Efficiency Experts
View 11 - 20 results for efficiency experts comic strips. Discover the best "Efficiency Experts" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 27,
2019
Experts And Non Experts
Tags business, office, office workers, experts, architecture
Transcript
dilbert: the experts say our architecture is not scalable. the boss: bah! the experts are biased. i want to hear what the non-experts say. dilbert: they say we should listen to the experts. the boss: okay, how about the people who are neither experts not non-experts?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 14,
2020
Talk To The Experts
Tags answer, bribe, experts, face mask, faster, managers & supervisors, Opinion, plan, technology
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.
Tuesday February 09,
2021
Disagree With Experts
Tags business, office workers, disagree, respect, experts, happy, criticism, enjoy, attention
Transcript
tina: every time i hear you disagreeing with the experts, i lose a little respect for you. dilbert: are you saying you once had respect for me? tina crying and yelling: stop being happy about my criticisms! dilbert: why can't i enjoy the attention?
Thursday January 12,
2012
Tags gloating, rich people, leadership experts, brag about weath, comforatble
Transcript
Boss: Leadership experts say I should never brag about my wealth. Let's just say I'm "comfortable." So very, very comfortable. Alice: Yeah, this isn't working.
Thursday September 28,
1995
Tags sitting for boss, prodcutivity, efficiency, queen alice
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally peers into Dilbert's cubicle and yells, "Alice is sitting in for the boss!" Dilbert stands up, raises both hands in the air and shouts, "Productivity at last!!!" Wally yells, "Efficiency! Yes!!" Inside the cubicle, Wally says, "As long as she doesn't get an attitude . . ." Alice stands outside the cubicle with a crown on her head and a wand in her hand. Someone is bowing in front of her.
Saturday June 28,
1997
Tags added billions, create system, employee of the week, hire experts, product process, stock value, new internet product
Transcript
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"
Tuesday February 17,
1998
Tags Catbert, evil hr diretor, company's goal, double efficiency, downsize, marketing, good at math, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."
Friday May 17,
2002
Tags the ceo visit, presentation, requires two people, impressive improvements, efficiency
Transcript
Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"
Thursday August 26,
2004
Tags removed all chairs, more efficient meetings, efficiency, what looked like
Transcript
The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."
Saturday March 12,
2005
Tags dont worry, high crime area, experts assure you, gange members, exhautsed, beat up
Transcript
CAtbert: Don't worry that the company is moving to a high-crime area. "My experts assure me that you'll have a 90% chance of survival every time you walk outside." "That estimate depends on the assumption that the gang members become exhausted from beating you up."

