Every Week Comic Strips - Page 2
867 Results for Every Week
View 11 - 20 results for every week comic strips. Discover the best "Every Week" comics from Dilbert.com.
Alice says to Dilbert as they walk, "I'd quit this job, but next year I'll get an extra week of vacation." Dilbert replies, "If you get an extra week for every ten years of services..." Dilbert continues, "...you'll be happy in 480 years. Good plan." Alice replies, not humored "Shut up."
Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.
The Boss: "Asok, you've been named 'Employee of the Week!'" "The title gives you access to the executive helicopter landing pad on the roof." "And by 'access' I mean you hose off the bird droppings every morning." Asok: "I get to use the company hose!!!"
"I'm addicted to Spam. I can't resist." "Last week I bought every pill that was offered and took them at the same time." "Let me tell you, there are a few pills you don't want to mix with the gingko biloba."
The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."
Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.
The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Dilbert: My doctor says I have a wicked case of Pop Farr. Its when vulcans and engineers go into gear every seven years. Alice: Im pretty sure, I don't care but let me check my calendar just in case... Alice: Someone kill me! Now Now! Now! continued
Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."