Great Products Comic Strips - Page 2
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496 Results for Great Products
View 11 - 20 results for great products comic strips. Discover the best "Great Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 26,
2012
Tags #apple, #consumer prodcuts, #lust after products, #magic, #magic dust, #nose, #smell, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert: This is the magic dust that Apple puts on all of its consumer products to make you lust after them. I wouldn't sniff it if I were you. Terrific. Now I feel compelled to get a nose like yours for no rational reason.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday June 20,
1989
Tags #baked products, #eat, #cupcake
Transcript
Dogbert is wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dilbert says, ". . . So, the cupcakes you baked mutated into a hideous monster and ate the neighbor's Chevy . . . Great." Dogbert says, "Oh, like YOU'VE never had problems with a recipe." Dilbert says, "What happens if my neighbor sues?!" Dogbert asks, "Did I mention that he was in the Chevy?"
Thursday November 02,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mysteries, #china, #great wall of china, #armies, #engineering, #flop
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "And another of life's mysteries is, why do they call it the 'Great Wall of China?'" Dilbert continues, "It never really kept any invading armies out . . . Kind of a dismal flop from an engineering perspective." Dogbert says, "I don't think 'The Dismal Flop of China' would have the same tourist appeal." Dilbert replies, "I wouldn't pay to see it."
Wednesday February 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #great, #things, #dog, #nap, #time, #want, #tired, #hate, #life, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert thinks, "One of the great things about being a dog is that we can take a nap any time we want." Dogbert continues thinking, "Sometimes we do it because we're tired." Dogbert lies on his back as Dilbert walks by carrying a briefcase. Dogbert thinks, "But mostly, we do it to make you hate your life."
Tuesday December 10,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nostradogbert, #prophet, #monkey, #skeptically, #great, #doubt
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock wearing a turban. Dogbert says, "I've changed my name to Nostradogbert the Prophet." Dogbert continues, "Nostradogbert predicts that a monkey shall speak skeptically of the great." Dilbert replies, "That's ridiculous." Dogbert says, "One-for-one so far." Dilbert says, "I doubt it."
Wednesday January 08,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #bed, #purpose in life, #today, #hungry, #toasted, #bagel, #great, #empty, #stomach, #think, #breakfast
Transcript
Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."
Wednesday December 16,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"
Thursday January 14,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #children, #power, #great book, #direction, #tv, #listings, #flipping
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."
Thursday June 10,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #collective, #nerd, #demand, #discounts, #wireless, #e-mail, #products, #daughter, #phone, #Number
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."
Wednesday September 15,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #blame, #consultant, #willy, #individual, #employee, #innovative, #products, #pioneer, #markets, #processor, #stinks
Transcript
Dogbert is hired as a blame consultant. Dogbert: The company's problems are your fault, Willy. You blame the senior executives, but it is you- the individual employee-who must build innovative new products and pioneer new markets. Willy: But I'm just a word processor I was hired to type. Dogbert: I've seen your typing. That stinks too.