Sales Training Comic Strips - Page 2
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346 Results for Sales Training
View 11 - 20 results for sales training comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 31,
2019
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training
Tags business, office workers, class, training, sensitivity, offend, kill, hour
Transcript
dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.
Tuesday November 12,
2019
Workflow Training
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new
Transcript
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
Monday October 19,
2020
Training Kicked In
Monday December 28,
2020
Stapler Training
Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight
Transcript
boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.
Friday January 08,
2021
Sales To Elbonia
Tags business, government policy, sales, sale, elbonia, government, ban, accomplices
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.
Sunday January 03,
2021
Increasing Training Budget
Tags business, office workers, budget, training, research & development, company, bankrupt
Transcript
boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year. tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets. dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development. wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development. alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing. asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt. carol to boss: the company is bankrupt. boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.
Thursday June 03,
2021
Pandemic Sales
Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.
Thursday November 24,
2011
Tags commerce, service business, unmotivated sales guy, slides are blank, compelling reason, no commission work, budget issues
Transcript
Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?
Saturday December 24,
2011
Tags business ethics, retail business, sales trip, dont talk, misleading impression, engineering support, after sale, bag of meat, lying bag of meat
Transcript
Boss: I need you to come with me on a sales trip, but don't talk to the customer. Your presence is needed to give a misleading impression of how much engineering support we plan to offer after the sale. Dilbert: So I'm nothing but a bag of meat? Boss: No. You're a lying bag of meat.
Sunday January 15,
2012
Tags big business, budget, contract employees, training budget, training, contractor budget
Transcript
Boss: Out budget for contact employees was eliminated. We'll have to pay you out of the training budget. So instead of doing the job yourself... you'll have to train Dilbert to do the job we're paying you to do. Dilbert: Why don't you just move some of the training budget to the contractor budget? Boss: If we reduce the training budget this year, we'll get less next year. Dilbert: So... you prefer paying two people to do the job of one? Boss: Right. Consultant: How do you stay in business? Boss: Our customers are even dumber than us.