Turnaround Ceo Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

586 Results for Turnaround Ceo

View 11 - 20 results for turnaround ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Turnaround Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Wants A Crypto Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2018's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #Wally, #crypto, #cryptocurrency, #game, #private key, #password, #done, #care

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How do I get a crypto wallet so I can get into the cryptocurrency game? Wally: I'll set one up for you and give you the private key and password when I'm done. CEO: I don't know how to thank you. Wally: That'll take care of itself.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:

Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #dissenters, #speak truth to power, #ignorant, #bald and overpaid, #respect, #ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Do you respect those who speak truth to power? CEO: I don't know what that means. Dogbert: In this case it means you're ignorant, bald and overpaid. Do you respect me, or should I keep going?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2002's comic on:

Tags #power point presentation, #ceo slip trance, #subliminal suggestions, #increase budget, #more budget, #kill boss, #pointy haired monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make your 'Power-point' presentation so boring that our CEO will slip into trance." The Boss continues, "Then I'll whisper to him subliminal suggestions to increase our budget." The CEO is asleep. The Boss whispers, "More budget." On the other side of the CEO, Wally whispers, "Kill the pointy-haired monster."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2004's comic on:

Tags #safety law, #ceo, #email ceo, #blah blah blah, #negligence, #people die, #products safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2005's comic on:

Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2007's comic on:

Tags #ceo, #go fatser, #set tone, #control, #opinions are treason, #name calling, #intimidation, #corporations, #little guy, #meeting, #tone of intimidation, #condescending, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Visit CEO: "My meetings go faster when I set the tone." "Opinions are treason." "Do you have any opinions, Doofy?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.