Using Conference Room Comic Strips - Page 2
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dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.
The boss: whats that I'm hearing? Is some one on the conference call using the restroom. Had t - oops - me too - I am - Sorry - The Boss: Now tap the speaker phone button to "off"and burn the ruler.
The Boss says, "I need this room for my meeting." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to get a different room since we're already here?" The Boss says, "All of the conference rooms are booked." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus this one." The Boss says, "That's not how it works." The Boss says, "Conference rooms go to the highest ranked manager." Dilbert says, "It took me months to schedule this meeting!" The Boss says, "Scram." The Boss says, "The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here."
Asok says, to Carol, "Carol, I'd like to reserve teh conferance room." Carol says, "Ha ha ha ha! I laugh at your request without even explaining why." Asok is in his cubicle. Asok thinks, "Someday I will be so powerful that secretaries will HAVE to explain why they laugh at me."
Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants will hear the case of..." Carol continues, "The man who is too unattractive to use the glass-walled conference room versus humanity." Dilbert exclaims, "You put the verdict in the name of the case!" Carol replies, "We're efficient."
The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"
boss at conference room table: i hope you all saw the poster i put in the break room with our list of values. dilbert: i didn't see it. what are our values? boss: i don't remember. wally: are we allowed to steal? dilbert: i don't think so, but i'm guessing.
wally: we're having cake in the conference room for ted's birthday. dilbert: i don't like ted. wally: no one does. we didn't invite him. dilbert: then why are we having an event for him? wally: we like cake?
Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.
Boss: What we need is an overarching strategy to stimulate our innovation. Dilbert: Or you could stop smothering the innovation we already have. Boss: That's the dumbest idea I've heard in my entire life. Dilbert: And there it is.