Alternative Is Chaos Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

26 Results for Alternative Is Chaos

View 11 - 20 results for alternative is chaos comic strips. Discover the best "Alternative Is Chaos" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #options, #costs too much, #any research, #experience thing, #using technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I narrowed down the options to an alternative that costs too much and another that won't work. I didn't do any research. It's more of an experience sort of thing. Next week I plan to think about the option of using technology that isn't yet available."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales questions, #vice presdient, #talk to boss, #questions, #confusion, #chaos, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Where do you think you're going?" Asok: "I need to ask our VP of sales a question." Wally: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" "You can't speak directly with a vice president." "You need to talk to your boss, who talks to his boss, who talks to someone who is friends with the VP of sales, who then talks to him." Asok: "Wouldn't that virtually guarantee that the wrong question gets asked?" Wally: "It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." Asok: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Talk to my secretary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternative fuel divison, #oil into watwer, #uninhabitable wasteland, #water into fuel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rfq, #resopnd, #computer, #discipline, #useless, #lazy, #front, #yoda, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Wally, can you respond to this RFQ by tomorrow?" Wally says, "That depends." Wally says, "I take a disciplined approach to allocation my limited resources." Wally says, "First, I'll need to evaluate all of the alternative uses for my time." Wally says, "If doing this RFQ thing comes out on top, then yes, I can do it." Man says, "When do you think you will know that?" Wally says, "Maybe next week. Unless something comes up." Man says, "So... you're useless." Wally says, "I don't see you getting much done right now either." Wally says, "Did you know that being disciplined is almost the same as being useless?" Dilbert says, "Yoda? Is that you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new server, #corrupt operating system, #bad server, #recover data, #reinstall, #redeploy it, #blindingly obvious, #alternative is chaos, #chaos as good, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Build a new server to replace the one with the corrupt operating system." Dilbert says, "That's what I'm doing right now." The Boss says, "Recover the data from the bad server and put it on the new one." Dilbert says, "That's the whole point." The Boss says, "Then see if you can reinstall the operating system on the old one and redeploy it." Dilbert says, "Do you have any instructions that are not blindingly obvious?" The Boss says, "This is called managing. The alternative is chaos." Dilbert says, "How did you just make chaos sound like a good thing?" The Boss says, "You should test the new server." Dilbert says, "Seriously, can we try the chaos thing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #inspiration, #entrepreneur, #risk, #irony, #catch-22, #creativity, #creative, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

The Science Of Astrology

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Science Of Astrology - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #chaos theory

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.