Art Of Full Body Lying Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

592 Results for Art Of Full Body Lying

View 11 - 20 results for art of full body lying comic strips. Discover the best "Art Of Full Body Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #unauthorized, #biography, #revelations, #exopse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor by the fireplace. Dogbert says, "I'm starting to write an unauthorized biography about you." Dogbert continues, "It's kind of a 'pet and tell' expose full of startling revelations." Dilbert asks, "Who would be startled by MY life?" Dogbert replies, "I think YOU will be."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #static, #electricity, #usless, #resistor, #dog of thunder, #nerd, #puns, #annoys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Maybe since you're full of static electricity, you should say 'it is useless to be a resistor.' Hee-hee-hee." Dogbert's fur is standing up. Dogbert zaps Dilbert with an electric shock. Clouds of smoke rise from Dilbert's head and his clothes are charred. Dogbert says as he walks away, "Nothing annoys the 'Dog of Thunder' quite as much as nerd puns."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor, #Dilbert, #sale, #price, #discount, #cash, #ten, #days

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #corporate, #philosophy, #shoot, #messenger, #consulted, #engineering, #department, #launched, #ill-conceived product, #humiliated, #fired, #eileen, #document, #carpet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #body, #language, #cuddle, #fireplace, #firewood, #date, #woman, #love, #love and dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I can tell what my date is thinking by her body language." Dilbert thinks, "Her body is telling me 'Let's cuddle by a fireplace. . .'" Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant and his date stands on her chair holding a chainsaw. Dilbert thinks, "'I'll get some firewood,' she says . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #blind, #date, #full-bodied, #indivudal, #light, #overweight, #base, #camp, #ankles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. The doorbell rings and Dogbert says, "Must be your blind date. I'll let her in." Dilbert asks, "How's she look?" Dogbert replies, "Well, you could say she's a full-bodied individual." Dilbert asks, "You mean she's a little overweight?" Dogbert replies, "I mean Sherpas have established a base camp on her ankles."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #painter, #painting, #art, #landscape, #outside, #interrupting

View Transcript

Transcript

Painter: Excuse me... Sir? I'm trying to paint this view. Would you mind not walking right in front of me? Dilbert: Oops. Sorry. Painter: It's already too late.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #incapable lying, #lies, #survival, #national enquirer, #watch, #educational, #programs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Bob the Dinosaur, "Are you saying dinosaurs are incapable of lying?" Bob replies, "Almost." Bob looks at Dawn the Dinosaur and continues, "Dawn and I taught ourselves some simple lies for survival . . . We'll show you . . ." Bob says, "I've never been tempted to read the 'National Enquirer.'" Dawn says, "I only watch the news and some educational programs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #hospital, #directions, #drive, #driving, #car, #automobile, #lying, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #doc, #doctor, #redundant, #organs, #kidneys, #large, #intestines, #advantage, #pancreas, #patients, #relax

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."