Bought Helicopter Comic Strips - Page 2

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104 Results for Bought Helicopter

View 11 - 20 results for bought helicopter comic strips. Discover the best "Bought Helicopter" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #lenin, #body, #museum, #communism

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Ratbert: Wow! You bought Lenin's body? Dogbert: Only ten dollars. Now I have to decide what to do with it. Ratbert: You could build a museum. Dogbert: I was thinking of using him as a coffee table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little, #doggie, #dude, #Dogbert, #driving, #school, #gruesome, #highway, #accidents, #intended, #helicopter

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A boy wearing a cap stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "Sign me up, little doggie-dude." Dogbert says, "We'll begin with a film about gruesome highway accidents. It is intended to shock you into driving safely." The boy sits in front of a television eating a snack. The boy asks, "Really? People get shocked by THIS?" Dogbert says, "I'll be following your car in a helicopter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finances, #violence, #Dilbert, #christmas, #social, #life, #mortgage, #gift, #hat, #sale, #yule, #log

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #computer, #chip, #market, #machine, #date, #curve, #technology, #racing, #state, #edge, #museums

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dogbert says, "I just read that a new computer chip is on the market. Your machine is out of date." Dogbert continues, "You're behind the curve. Technology is racing ahead without you. You're no longer state-of-the-art or leading edge." Dogbert continues, "Sometimes people like you can get jobs in museums." Dilbert yells, "I bought this thing yesterday!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #computer, #obsolete, #engineers, #down, #technology, #curve

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Dilbert says to Wally and Ted, "I'm so mad . . . I just bought a new computer and it's already obsolete." Wally replies, "Don't feel bad. The other engineers won't look down on you just because you're behind the technology curve." Ted says, "Yeah, we will." Wally replies, "Not right in front of him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Wally, #testosterone, #spewing, #pickup truck, #rifle, #hunt, #work, #pigeons, #truck

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Dilbert says to Wally, who has his arm around a woman, "Gee, Wally, you sure have been popular with women since the testosterone started spewing from your head." Drops of liquid come from Wally's head. Wally replies, "It's amazing . . . I even bought a pickup truck and a rifle so I can hunt after work." Dilbert asks, "What do you hunt around here?" Wally replies, "Pigeons are the most convenient . . . Don't even have to get out of the truck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #executive man, #business meeting, #assistants

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An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share accomplishments, #created dcoument, #desktop publishing, #two day class, #digitized photos, #color highlights, #multi column, #clip art, #icons, #visual mosaic, #add topic, #some content, #enjoy work

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and share our accomplishments." Dilbert says, "I created a document this week." Dilbert continues, "But THIS is no ordinary document!" Dilbert explains, "I bought a $500 desktop publishing program and took a two-day class to learn it." Dilbert continues, "I incorporated digitized photos and color highlights in a multi-column page layout!" Dilbert continues, "Clip-art icons are sprinkled liberally around the page to form a visual mosaic!" Dilbert continues, "Next week - God willing - I'll add a topic and some content." The Boss says, "Do you remember when I said you should enjoy your work? I didn't mean it." Dilbert says, "Ooh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignored recommendations, #inadequate, #make system work, #saving money, #get fired

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "So, you ignored my recommendation and bought a low-cost system that's totally inadequate . . ." Dilbert holds up a document and continues, "You compensated for this blunder by making it part of MY objectives to make the system work . . ." Dilbert concludes, "You'll get a bonus for saving money. I'll get fired, thus saving more money and earning you ANOTHER bonus." The Boss replies, "I'm on a roll."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical system, #all the power, #essential upgardes, #simple fool, #next emplyee, #vendor issues, #compatibility

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Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."