Cats Comic Strips - Page 2
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18 Results for Cats
View 11 - 18 results for cats comic strips. Discover the best "Cats" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 06,
2005
Tags Catbert, evil director, human resources, assistant manager, simialr, slightly worse, wouldn't be threat, data base, both hideous, criminally insane, hate cats, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 30,
2007
Tags credible scientist, products harm enbviornment, cats doubt on data, eat wrong food, hope you die
Transcript
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"
Tuesday October 06,
2009
Tags job, panic, phrase, angry, offended, accusation, awkward, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, we're hosting a forum for human resources executives, and I need you to organize it." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! That will be like trying to herd cats." Catbert says, "What did you just say?" Asok the intern says, "I'm not racist." Catbert says, "Denial is proof!"
Saturday August 07,
2010
Tags presentation, meeting, the end, apathy, hate, questions, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"
Tuesday September 14,
2010
Tags meeting, facebook, twitter, marketing, social media, new employee, coworker, cats, drunk, stupid, business, technology
Transcript
Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."
Thursday February 24,
2011
Tags cats & kittens, computer software, contracts, harvest organs, signed, software services, save lives
Transcript
Carol says, "There's a guy in the lobby who says he's here to harvest your organs." Carol says, "Apparently, you signed a software services agreement without fully understanding it." Dilbert says, "Well, at least I can save lives." Carol says, "He said something about his cat's birthday."
Sunday May 05,
2013
Tags cats & kittens, surgery, surgeon, left something inside, left stuff, wallet, car keys, cat, meow, animals, medical
Transcript
Carol: It's your surgeon. He says he might have left something inside you. Boss: What??! A sponge? A scalpel? Carol: No... his watch. And... his car keys... and wallet. He says he used your torso to store his valuables while he went for a run. Boss: Meow! Carol: I'll ask about that.
Thursday June 06,
2013
Tags cats & kittens, physics, famous physicist, zombie
Transcript
Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.
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