Confidential Comic Strips - Page 2

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17 Results for Confidential

View 11 - 17 results for confidential comic strips. Discover the best "Confidential" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags special project, secret, confidential, dig grave, shovel, death, medical

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The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags special project, secret, confidential, idiot, question, placebo

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Dilbert says, "I need answers to these questions for a confidential project. I can't tell you more." Coworker says, "I'm a complete idiot and even I can deduce from your questions what the project must be." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, so some of you idiots are getting placebo questions." Coworker says, "Well played."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), stop level meeting, confidentail, retribution, every day retribution

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Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, respect, succeed, treat each other well, video recording, google glasses, recording confidential info, fired, insulting, final check, name calling, ironic

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CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

Tina Should Hope For The Best

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Tina Should Hope For The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, human resources, results, transparency, business

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Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, results, confidentiality, progress, business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

Tina The Whistleblower

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Tina The Whistleblower - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company policy, human resources, whistleblower, security, confidential, business

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Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.