Confusion Comic Strips - Page 2

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31 Results for Confusion

View 11 - 20 results for confusion comic strips. Discover the best "Confusion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, mistake, confusion, department, business

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The Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our aerospace division because it hasn't won any contracts in two years." The Boss says, "Rumor has it that the admin assistant was faxing all of our bids with the blank side facing up." Carol says, "The blank side isn't supposed to face up?" The Boss says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, orders, leadership, idiocy, guessing, confusion, business

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The boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take over Carl's function." The boss says, "He's already gone, but Ted can train you." The boss says, "Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function." a cloud says, "Doom" Ted says, "Try clicking the red...no, blue...no, red button." Beep ted says, "Ooh, okay. I didn't expect that." ted says, "Now you either have to erase all of the servers or activate the fire suppression system in the clean room." Dilbert says, "What if I click 'Cancel'?" Ted says, "That's what killed Carl." Ted says, "Anyway, that's all I know. The rest is just common sense."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, hiring, renaming, confusion, anger, business

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The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clones, duplicates, confusion

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Dilbert says, "What the??" Dilbert says, "Don't be surprised." Dilbert says, "In any large company there is at least one employee who is your exact replica and has the same assignment." Dilbert says, "Why didn't I know that?" Dilbert says, "I'm not your replica. I'm a look-alike that is much smarter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, meeting, ridicule, confusion, business

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Dilbert says, "the biggest risk to the project is our own thundering incompetence." Duh! Dilbert says, "It is a known fact that every project has at least one irredeemable imbecile." The boss says, "I have a vague, uneasy feeling about your clip art."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, deception, lying confusion, business

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The boss says, "This is Phil, our new vice president of marginally legal activities." The boss says, "He'll be leading the effort to make our user interfaces so confusing that people have to pay us for training." Dilbert says, "We already do that unintentionally." The boss says, "Sure, but we can't always rely on luck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, explaining, work, progress, ridiculous, lazy, business

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Wally says, "I didn't do any work this week because my project will probably be cancelled in the next budget cuts." The boss says, "Wally, I don't pay you to do nothing." Wally says, "I'm pretty sure you do." Wally says, "But I understand your confusion." Wally says, "I too was surprised by the first few years of getting paid to do nothing." Wally says, "In time, doing nothing becasme its own sort of challenge." Wally says, "I'm like a ninja with no hopes and dreams." The boss says, "Wally, set up a meeting with me later." Wally says, "I'll get right on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demon, marketing, confusion, anger, price, customer, business

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The Boss says, "Our new director of marketing is an angry demon of some sort." The Boss says, "He's in charge of making our prices impossible for customers to understand." Woman says, "What the #%!* kind of price is "it depends"? Asok says, "He makes me say these things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags steam, confusion, violence, punching, computer, crazy, technology

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Alice says, "My computer kept locking up, so I had to let off some steam." The Boss says, "You can't fix your computer by punching it!" Alice says, "Why would I punch my computer? That's crazy." Asok says, "Alice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, drank sewage, happiness, prototype, untreated sewage, water purification, psychology

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Dilbert: Let me tell you what kind of day I had at work. There was some confusion about my water purification prototype, and our CEO drank eight ounces of untreated sewage. Dogbert: So... best day ever? Dilbert: It'll be hard to top.