Search Results for "disguise"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1992's comic on:


Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #disguise, #space, #stock market, #Dogbert, #power, #antennae, #surrender, #interest rates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a pair of antennae. A cameraman and two news reporters stand in front of him. Dogbert says into the microphones, "As my antennae clearly prove, I'm a space alien with incredible powers." At home, Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert on tv. Dogbert says, "I call on the nations of the world to surrender. Otherwise, I will cause your stock markets to fall." Later, Dilbert and Dogbert watch television together. The newscaster says, "The market fell five points today. Analysts blame interest rates and aliens." Dogbert says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #business, #professional, #insulter, #pick-up, #day, #charge

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start a business as a professional insulter." Dogbert continues, "For example, I would say to you, you're so ugly that you have to wear a disguise on garbage pick-up day." Dilbert replies, "That was uncalled for." Dogbert says, "Well, then no charge."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #disguise arousal, #jerk magnet, #talk to death, #turkey deceased, #sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Tina says, "I always fall for the wrong guys. I'm a jerk magnet." Dilbert says, "Tina, the turkey in your sandwich is already deceased. You don't have to talk it to death." Tina clenches her teeth and her fists. She thinks, "I must disguise my arousal." Dilbert says, "Hey, look! We're eating exactly the same quantities for lunch!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #first salesperson, #noah, #sell ark, #animals, #yacht, #sales babble, #disguise motives, #pioneered lame joke, #weather, #reach quota, #blaming engineering, #greatest innovation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch. Ratbert asks, "Who was the world's first salesperson, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Some people say it was a guy named Noah." The caption says, "Noah's last name was content." Noah says, "I have a big, curly stick and I don't even know why." The caption says, "His job was to sell an ark cruise to animals." Noah asks an opossum hanging in a tree, "Did I say ark? I meant yacht." The caption says, "He invented soemthing called sales-babble to disquise his motives." Noah says, "We'll partner to leverage our value-adds in a win-win proposition." A beaver looks confused. The caption says, "He pioneered the lame joke." Noah asks a giraffe, "How's the weather up there? Hee hee!" The caption says, "When he couldn't reach quota, he got creative." Noah hands a unicorn horn to a cat and says, "Strap this to your head and don't ask questions." The caption says, "But his greatest innovation he called 'blaming engineering.'" An angry bear tells Noah, "I can't find the honey spa." Noah thinks, "Think fast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #growing beard, #hide no chin, #loose sweaters, #no waist, #sherlock holmes outfir, #no clue, #mannnequins, #friends

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting with his tray of food at a table in the company cafeteria. Dilbert is about to sit down. Wally says, "I'm thinking of growing a beard to disguise the fact that I have no chin." Alice joins Wally and Dilbert at the table. Wally continues, "Then I'll get some loose sweaters to disguise the fact that I have no waist." Alice says, "Maybe you should get a Sherlock Holmes outfit to disguise the fact that you have no clue." Wally says, "Perhaps some mannequins as friends."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #job counseling, #disguise fact, #moron, #knowledge mangement, #optimization intiatives, #key learnings

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #clever disguiyse, #engineering job, #take the job, #fashionable engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert and Wally eat lunch. Alice says, "I'll wear a clever disguise then interview for the engineering job here." Alice says, "If he offers me more money than I make now, I'll take the job. Heh-heh" Alice sits on the boss' office diguised in a very high hat and a dark glasses. The boss says, "You're suspiciously fashionable for an engineer." Alice says, "I store tools up there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #clutter meleon, #printed debris, #nest, #predator, #power to disguise

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Cluttermeleon Lines His Nest with Printed Debris. An employee is carrying a large stack of papers nto a cubicle already filled with stacks of paper. Headline: A Predator Comes Out of His Lair. The Boss pokes his head out of his office. Headline: The Quick-Thinking Cluttermeleon Uses His Power of Disguise. The Boss looks into the messy cubicle. The employee is hidden underneath an extra high stack of paper.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #global economy, #vibrant, #fly bait, #reformatted, #disguise true objective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #speak at school, #sons school, #disguise bitterness, #punish son, #honored to speak

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Would you consider speaking at my son's school on career day?" "I'd do it myself, but I can't disguise the bitterness and despair that gnaw at my soul." "Plus my son has been bad and I told him I'd punish him." The boss: "I'd be honored to speak."