Double Efficiency Comic Strips - Page 2

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105 Results for Double Efficiency

View 11 - 20 results for double efficiency comic strips. Discover the best "Double Efficiency" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dotted line, #arch rival, #secret double agent, #captured and executed, #immediate

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I heard you got assigned on a 'dotted line' to our boss's arch-rival." Wally sits with his head in his hands and groans. Dilbert continues, "Look on the bright side. Think of yourself as leading the exiting life of a secret double-agent!" Wally asks, "Don't most double-agents get captured and executed immediately?" Dilbert says, "They WISH it was immediate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #biggest offices, #file cabinet, #least need, #living monument, #proprietary documents, #stacks full, #storage psace, #efficiency

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Alice asks the Boss, "Why is it that the people with the least need for storage space have the biggest offices?" Alice stands in the door to the Boss's office and says, "I know! You're using your office as kind of a living monument to inefficiency!" The Boss asks, "Is this because I wouldn't let you get a file cabinet?" Alice asks, "Where would I put it? My cubicle is full of stacks of proprietary documents."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #diagnose mental health, #exercise regulalry, #looking depressed, #prescription, #anti depressant

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Dilbert walks by with a briefcase as the garbage man is emptying a trashcan. The garbage man says to him, "Dilbert, I notice you've been looking depressed lately." The garbage man writes on a pad and says, "Here's a prescription for an antidepressant drug. Be sure to exercise regularly and don't skip meals." Dilbert says angrily, "What makes you think you're qualified to diagnose my mental health?!!" The garbage man reaches for the prescription and says, "I'd better double it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000 certified, #product looks good, #internal porcess, #well documented, #documented porcess, #ace, #double price

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The Boss and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Your product looks good, but you can't be our supplier unless your company is ISO 9000 certified." The Boss asks, "So . . . You don't care how bad our internal processes are, as long as they're well-documented and used consistently?" The man replies, "That's right." The Boss says, "Our documented process says I must now laugh in your face and double our price."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #description, #taxi, #cheat, #running the meter, #flat rate, #poor language skills, #efficnecy, #taxi running people

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An attendant says to Dilbert, "This taxi is yours. Here's a description of how he'll cheat you." Dilbert sits in the back of the taxi cab and says, "It says you'll be running the meter despite the flat rate. Then you'll feign poor language skills when I question you." The driver looks crazy. Dilbert says, "I can't fault your efficiency, though." The driver hits a bicycle and a pedestrian.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #company's goal, #double efficiency, #downsize, #marketing, #good at math, #business

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Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the ceo, #board of directors, #double pay, #bleat like sheep, #meeting, #baaa, #business

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert and executives sitting at a table. Dogbert says, "I make a motion that the board of directors double my pay." Dogbert continues, "All in favor, bleat like sheep." Dilbert and Wally stand outside the conference room and bear "BA-A-A" sounds eminating from the room. Wally says, "I think we're missing a check or a balance somewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #ann, #dilbert makes bet, #hair on fire, #curses, #super natural powers, #harms coworkers

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Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #organization chart, #phone lists shreded, #picking clean, #headhunters, #steal away, #double pay, #drains initiative

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The Boss holds up a piece of paper and says, "From now on, the organization chart will not be distributed." The Boss crumples up a piece of paper and says, "And the internal phone lists will be shredded." The Boss continues, "This will prevent headhunters from easily picking us clean." Wally asks, "Why would headhunters call US?" The Boss explains, "They want to steal you away and double your pay at another company." Wally says, "What makes you think we won't leave on our own anyway?" The Boss replies, "Because working here drains all your initiative." Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and says, "Let's prove him wrong." Dilbert says, "Yeah! I'm NOT shredding my phone list!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

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The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"