Dumpy White Guy Section Comic Strips - Page 2

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke telling, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #beer, #cactus, #timing, #jokes

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The caption says, "Dilbert demonstrates the art of joke telling." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on chairs across from each other. Dilbert says, ". . . So the first guy orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "A good joke teller will seek to establish a pattern." Dilbert continues, ". . . Then the second guy . . . Heh, heh . . . Orders a beer and a cactus . . ." The caption says, "Tomorrow's lesson: timing." Dilbert continues, ". . . So then the seventy-third guy comes in . . ." Dogbert is asleep.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #socks, #computer, #greek, #tragedy, #shoes, #engineers

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins

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Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #politeness, #door, #late, #sorry

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Dilbert approaches a man holding a door open and thinks, "I wish this guy wouldn't try to be polite and hold the door." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "I'm at that awkward distance where I should lunge forward so he doesn't have to hold the door too long." Dilbert says, "Oh, thank you." The man says as he walks away, "Great, now I'm late." Dilbert says, "I lunged as fast as I could. Sorry."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #editorial, #congressmen, #illegal, #criminals

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Here's an interesting editorial . . ." Dilbert continues, "This guy says we should increase the pay of congressmen to remove incentive for them to engage in illegal acts." Dogbert says, "By that theory, criminals aren't bad, just underpaid."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #informal, #white house, #gorby, #gumby, #community

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm enjoying the new informal approach at the White House." Dogbert continues, "I just hope it doesn't embarrass us in the international community." A White House aide stands in front of the President's desk next to Gumby. The President says, "Doggone it, I told you to set up a meeting with GORBY!" The aide thinks, "What's a Gorby?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #doctor, #life, #death, #paint, #house

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fancy hotels, #tip, #maid, #concierge, #french-sounding

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Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bumped, #happy airline, #wonder, #duct tape, #section, #satisfaction, #company

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Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonian, #capitalism, #incentive, #twelve hourse, #rich, #tv shows, #millionaire's, #life

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Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"