Engineering Manager Comic Strips - Page 2

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446 Results for Engineering Manager

View 11 - 20 results for engineering manager comic strips. Discover the best "Engineering Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #office, #decide, #kill, #floyd, #budget, #manager, #lover, #killer

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock. Dilbert says, "The guys in the office decided that somebody must kill Floyd the budget manager because he's so mean to us." Dilbert continues, "They want ME To kill him. But I can't do it. I'm a LOVER, not a killer." Dogbert replies, "Technically, you're neither." Dilbert asks, "Is that MY fault?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #transferred, #assignments, #management, #yanking, #chain, #over-communicating, #manager, #sales

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #interview, #applicant, #engineer, #standard, #pens, #pencil, #perform, #natural, #fabrics, #carry, #wearing

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pose, #calendar, #Men, #engineering, #dispel, #myth, #engineers, #unaware, #pumped, #mouse, #shirt

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a camera and asks, "Would you like to pose for my new calendar, 'The Men of Engineering?'" Dogbert explains, "I hope to dispel the myth that engineers are out of shape and unaware of what others are thinking." Dilbert feels his bicep muscle and says, "I'm still kind of 'pumped' from using the mouse." Dogbert says, "Take off your shirt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #engineering, #knowledge, #promote, #prima donna, #demonstrate, #personality, #dissorders, #mumble, #disdain, #humanity

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your engineering knowledge is good, but I can't promote you to 'prima donna.'" The Boss continues, ". . . Unless you demonstrate a few more serious personality disorders." Dilbert replies, "I can mumble." The Boss says, "Sure, but can you do it with disdain for all of humanity?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation

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A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing

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Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #optical, #server, #falling, #asleep, #police, #died, #disk, #engineering, #men and women, #boring

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Dilbert says to a woman, ". . . Then I said 'what about an optical disk file server.'" The woman thinks as she spills her coffee and starts to fall, "So boring, falling asleep . . ." Dilbert watches as the woman falls over backwards. Dilbert says to a police officer, "I don't know how she died. i was telling her about an optical . . ." The policeman falls asleep and begins to fall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #percent, #subradiante, #latched, #obscure, #engineering, #fact, #painful, #implications, #microfleems, #blows, #fascinating, #acknowledge, #grasp, #technology, #issues

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss asks Dilbert, "Did you know that twenty percent of all microfleems are subradiante?" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. The Boss has latched onto some obscure engineering fact." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be painful." The Boss says, "Just think of the implications. It means eighty percent of microfleems are NOT subradiante." Dilbert crawls under his desk thinking, "Maybe I can hide under the desk until this blows over." The Boss continues, "Don't you think it's fascinating? I mean, what with the implications and all . . ." Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay. I acknowledge your incredible grasp of technology issues." The Boss walks away thinking, "It almost makes me curious what a microfleem is."