Fake Own Death Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

681 Results for Fake Own Death

View 11 - 20 results for fake own death comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Own Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flat earth, #society, #witness, #christopher columbus, #death, #conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk looking at a flattened globe. Dilbert asks, "You joined the 'Flat Earth Society?'" Dogbert replies, "I believe the earth MUST be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called 'round earth theory.'" Dilbert says, "I think Christopher Columbus would disagree." Dogbert says, "How convenient that your best witness is long dead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #terrarium, #failure, #weather, #patterns, #climatic, #experiment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans over a table looking at a glass container. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My terrarium experiment is a failure." Dilbert continues, "By now it should have started its own self-contained weather patterns." Dilbert continues, "After all this waiting, it's just so . . . so . . ." Dogbert asks, "Anti-climatic?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #gloat, #rock, #perfume, #decadent, #life, #desires

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Okay then, suppose you had everything you wanted. What would you do?" Dogbert answers, "Gloat. Make everybody else feel like failures. Live a garish and decadent life." Dilbert asks, "And when that gets boring?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe start my own perfume company."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chainsaw, #weasel, #prune, #computer, #skipper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "My computer has determined the funniest words in the world . . ." Dilbert continues, "They include: chainsaw, weasel, prune and any reference to 'Gilligan's Island.' Now I can make my own jokes!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So then the skipper gets attacked by this prune-eating weasel with a chainsaw . . ." Dogbert laughs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #doctor, #life, #death, #paint, #house

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fast, #not, #eating, #starved, #death, #fast food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #death, #grim reaper, #yow, #challenge, #contest, #play, #life, #frisbee, #degrading

View Transcript

Transcript

The Grim Reaper points at Dogbert and says, "Dogbert, I have come for you." Dogbert yells, "Yow!" Dogbert pleads, "Wait wait! Don't I get to challenge you to some contest to play for my life!!?" The Grim Reaper says, "Okay . . . I throw this Frisbee - you try to catch it in your mouth." Dogbert asks, "Did you have anything more degrading?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #cheat, #death, #frisbee, #athlete, #scrabble, #allowed, #august, #bone, #boy

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert tries to cheat death." The Grim Reaper says to Dogbert, ". . . So, if you catch the Frisbee you can live." Dogbert says, "Wait!" Dogbert continues, "I've never been much of an athlete . . . Let's play 'Scrabble' for my life instead." Dogbert and the Grim Reaper sit at a table playing Scrabble. The Grim Reaper asks, "How much time are you allowed for your turn?" Dogbert replies as he walks away, "I'll see you in August, bone boy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mesozoic era, #giant, #plastic, #bone, #fake, #vomit, #wrap, #toss, #tar, #pit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You know, Bob, I always pictured you dinosaurs as . . . Uh . . . Much bigger." Bob replies, "Ah, well, you see, practical jokes were very popular in the Mesozoic era . . ." A dinosaur says to a clerk in a novelty store, "Ooh-ooh! Give me the giant plastic bone and one fake vomit!" The salesclerk asks, "Shall I wrap them or just toss them in the tar pits?"