Fear Of Mistakes Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert says to a woman at a desk, "Uh . . . Lisa, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me." Lisa replies, "I can only date you if you survive the 'challenge of fear.'" Dilbert asks, "What is the 'challenge of fear'?" Lisa replies, "It's a test of your manliness." Lisa explains, "First you must stick your head in the drawer as I slam it shut." Lisa continues, "Then I staple you to the employee bulletin board." Lisa continues, "Live weasels are stuffed in your pants." Dilbert looks nervous. Lisa continues, "Finally, you must fling yourself down the elevator shaft!" Dilbert sticks his head in a drawer and says, "Ready." Lisa looks at the reader and says, "The weird thing is that THEY rule the world."
Drops of liquid fly from Wally's head. Wally thinks, "Being bald isn't so bad. With all this testosterone, men will fear me and women will desire me." Wally approaches a man and woman and says to the man, "Take a hike, fuzzy. She's mine now." The woman says, "I do find you strangely attractive." Wally points to the drops on his head and says, "Testosterone, you're helpless."
Dogbert stands in front of an audience and says, "The successful zombie knows how to squash the creativity of co-workers." Dogbert points to a picture of a man with bags under his eyes and says, "When you hear a new idea, adopt a facial expression which conveys both fear and an utter lack of comprehension." Dogbert continues, "Those of you who work in marketing only need to add the fear part." Someone asks, "Why is that?"
The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You all know our president, Mister Goodenrich. He's here to answer any questions you have." Alice asks, "Why aren't there any women or minorities in senior management positions?" Mr. Goodenrich replies, "We think women are for making babies. As for minorities, we fear them." Wally asks, "How can you justify your ten million dollar salary when profits are down?" The president laughs and replies, "The board of directors are friends of mine and it's not their money they're spending." Dilbert asks, "Why does the company keep talking about employee training while at the same time slashing the training budget?" The president replies, "We think you're too dumb to train. We'll hire people from the outside if we need talent." Wally says, "I must say, your honesty is kind of refreshing." The president replies, "And you're all fired for asking questions."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "One of my co-workers got a much better job at another company. I'm feeling quite envious." Dogbert says, "Instead of feeling sad, you should make a list of all the things you have that he doesn't." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table writing a list. Dogbert says, "So far, you have a birthmark, a fear of spiders and the list itself." Dilbert says, "I had the birthmark removed."
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I can't remember if I'm left-handed or right-handed." Ratbert says, "I live in fear that I'll be walking in the park, someone will toss me a ball and I'll look . . . awkward." Ratbert lies underneath a ball. The person who threw the ball says, "Nice catch, rat." Ratbert asks, "Really? It didn't look awkward?"
Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.
Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?
Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."
Tags #avoid completing, #do it right, #does anything, #fear of mistakes, #higher quality, #inspire, #morale low, #new philosophy, #paralyzed, #punish anybody, #realize mistakes, #value opinion, #victims
Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy