Firing Comic Strips - Page 2

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55 Results for Firing

View 11 - 20 results for firing comic strips. Discover the best "Firing" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the contractor, easy to get rid of, paperwork, point finger, firing finger

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The Contractor "No pressure, but do you have any idea how easy it would be to get rid of you?" "There isn't even any paperwork. I just point my finger and you're history." "Here comes the firing finger. Oooh...Watch out!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Did you fund the infrastructure project yet?" "Nope." "I'm playing budget chicken with the director of operations." "I'm hoping that his department needs the infrastructure more than we do." "If I can bluff him into funding the project with his budget instead of mine, I win." "He'll be reprimanded for exceeding his budget and I'll get a bonus for being under mine." "I'll use the bonus to buy a summer cabin by the lake." "Then I'll e-mail him pictures of my cabin and say, 'I hope you're enjoying your infrastructure as much as I'm enjoying my cabin!'" "You've reached a new low." "I've been thinking of firing you so I can get a fishing hat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing, let go, no money, budget, typo, request, planning reward, hard work

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The Boss: "Ted, I have to let you go, but there's a good reason." "There's no money to pay your salary because I made a typo in my budget request." "Until then, I was totally planning to reward your hard work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing, incompetent, another job, lack of training, new job, incompetence, normal

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The Boss: "Bruce, you're totally incompetent at your job, so I've moving you to another job." "I'm hoping your lack of training for your new job will make your incompetence seem normal." Half of this job is know when to give up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing, humorless stain, interview boss, soul of humanity, support thesis, worship satan

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Dogbert: The Dogbert gazette is doing a story on your firing of an employee for posting a comic on the wall. I need some quotes that support my thesis of you being a humorless stain on the soul of humanity. Would you say you worship satan, or do you simply respect his nonsense approach to discipline?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags position eleiminated, performance, not told, position, no explination, just a trick, feel less awkward, hot replacement

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The Boss says, "Ted, your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "What? You never told me there was anything wrong with my performance!" The Boss says, "It's not about your performance. Your position is being eliminated." Ted says, "Well, that seems mighty convenient." Ted says, "This way you can replace me without explaining why I never got a bad performance review." Ted says, "is this just a trick to make you feel less awkward while firing me?" A woman says, "I thought you said he'd be gone by now." The Boss says, "Is there any comfort in knowing your replacement is totally hot?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agreement, areas of expertise, business units, confusion, consolidate shared services, diagnostic review, evil director, from centers, invoice, meeting, presentation, business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, firing, frustration, rudeness, profits falling, worthless sack of monkey spit, birds ate brain, regurgitate pellets

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The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, revenue, firing, prediction

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Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags investing, rudeness, firing, downsizing

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Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."