Get Away With Crimes Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Get Away With Crimes

View 11 - 20 results for get away with crimes comic strips. Discover the best "Get Away With Crimes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #poetry, #poem, #monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my new poem?" Dogbert replies, "I once read that given infinite time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare." Dilbert asks, "But what about MY poem?" Dogbert replies, "Three monkeys, ten minutes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #boring, #friend, #imagination, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid." Dilbert continues, "But he told me I was boring and he ran away." Dogbert says, "There are times when no snide comment seems adequate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #run, #workout tape, #scare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #door, #fall, #falling, #rude, #stairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through a door and thinks, "I hate this: somebody is just far enough behind me that it would be awkward to hold the door, but rude to let it swing." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'll just pick up the pace and act like I don't notice anybody behind me." The door hits the person behind him. The person screams and falls down the stairs. Dilbert thinks, "Doors at the tops of stairs are the worst."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1989's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #knowledge, #money, #power, #reading, #convince

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #lying, #sarcasm, #polite, #momentum

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Do you like my new clip-on necktie?" Dogbert replies, "It's very nice. Good colors, nice pattern. Why, with a tie like that, DON'T be surprised if you get an offer to pose for GQ MAGAZINE!" Dilbert says, "I think you crossed that fine line between polite lying and outright sarcasm." Dogbert replies, "The momentum carried me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #power, #brain, #mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #money, #pet, #question, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #clean, #date, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #letter, #mail, #illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I got a chain letter." Dogbert says, "Those are illegal." Dilbert says, "I've never broken a law in my whole life, but I'm tempted to try this." Dogbert says, "One suggestion." Dogbert continues, "Maybe for your first crime you shouldn't put your name and address on it and distribute it to ten thousand strangers."