Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 2
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273 Results for Hate The Messenger
View 11 - 20 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 04,
1990
Tags Dilbert, communism, ex-communism, elbonia, capital, Politics, backward, country, airport
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."
Monday May 07,
1990
Tags Dilbert, outbox, mail, outgoing mail, fish, weather, small talk, errands
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"
Tuesday May 08,
1990
Tags Dilbert, cool, guys, Women, miss, killing, me, trash, dating, love
Transcript
Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."
Sunday May 13,
1990
Tags Dilbert, underpants, bought, house, capitalism, dinosaur, case, case studies, idiot, computers
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert special! Bob the Dinosaur will rip the underpants off guys we hate!" Bob pulls the underwear off a man. The caption says, "Case #1." A man smoking a pipe and wearing a turtleneck says, ". . . Bought my first house for 75 cents. Sold it a year later for 400,000 dollars . . ." The man screams as Bob pulls his underwear off. Bob says, "Now he drives a 'Beemer.'" The caption says, "Case #2." A man says, "It's a great movie. You'll be surprised when you find out the parakeet is the murderer." The man screams as Bob pulls off his boxer shorts. Bob says, "I love surprises!" The caption says, "Case #3." A car salesman says, "Wait here and I'll try to convince my boss to sell the car at your price." The man screams when Bob pulls off his underwear. Bob says, "He's on your side!" The caption says, "Finally . . ." Dilbert says, "Only an idiot would thing computers are confusing."
Wednesday July 25,
1990
Tags lab rat, macaroni, cheese, through, wall, doctor, die, over the wall
Transcript
A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."
Friday August 31,
1990
Tags therapy, unethical, Dilbert, biological clock, ugly, one, ticking, away
Transcript
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."
Wednesday October 31,
1990
Tags Dogbert, skilled, possessions, vaccum, mercy, beg, watch, dog
Transcript
Dogbert asks a man with a mohawk and an eyepatch, "Why are you loading our possessions into your van?" The man replies. "Easier to vacuum." Dogbert says, "I must warn you, I'm a skilled watch dog!" Dogbert stands in the driveway and says, "I'm going to watch you until you BEG for mercy!" The man thinks, "I hate this."
Tuesday November 06,
1990
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, job, steal, Card, i.d., continued, hate, it, friend
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I got fired." Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and says, "The crook who robbed our house used my company I.D. card to steal my job too." Dilbert sits in the dark and says, "All I have is you, my friend. Dogbert?" The caption says, "(Don't you hate it when they say) Continued."
Wednesday November 14,
1990
Tags Dogbert, dilbert's ego, bald, broccoli, toupee
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert meets Dilbert's ego." Dogbert asks, "You want a toupee?" Dilbert's ego replies, "I feel okay about myself except for being bald." Dogbert says, "I hate to tell you, but with or without hair you still look like broccoli." The ego replies, "At least I won't be bald broccoli."
Sunday December 02,
1990
Tags Dilbert, avocados, dispute, cram, chips, nose, cados, years, Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I made a nice avacado dip for us, Dogbert." Dogbert sits on the hassock holding a bag of potato chips. He says, "I hate avacados." Dilbert sits in his chair and asks, "How do you know, if you haven't tried them?" Dogbert says, "How do you know you don't like cramming potato chips up your nose? YOU've never tried THAT." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough . . . I can't dispute your logic." Dilbert says, "If you try the dip, I'll cram potato chips up my nose." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert tries the dip and says, "Hmm . . . Good." Dilbert stuffs chips up his nose and repeats, "Ouch . . . Ouch . . ." Dilbert says, "Id feelth aboud like I thoughd id would." Dogbert says, "I lied. I've liked avacados for years."