Hello Cluless Comic Strips - Page 2

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103 Results for Hello Cluless

View 11 - 20 results for hello cluless comic strips. Discover the best "Hello Cluless" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #buckingham palace, #princess, #kiss, #frog, #witch's, #curse, #lady di, #hideous, #creatures, #awkward, #Family, #reunions

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Dogbert stands on a chair and Dogbert the Frog sits next to him. Dogbert says into the telephone, "Hello . . . Buckingham Palace? I was wondering if the Princess would be willing to kiss a frog and remove a witch's curse for us." Dogbert says into the phone, "Oh . . . Lady Di does not kiss hideous little creatures . . ." Dogbert says, "That must be mighty awkward at family reunions . . . Hello?" Dilbert covers his eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dog, #pound, #one, #phone, #call, #big, #ball, #demolition, #company

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Dogbert stands in a cage thinking, "No stupid dog pound can hold me for long." Dogbert yells to the dog catcher, "Hey, screw! Don't I get one phone call?!" Dogbert whispers into the telephone, "Hello, is this the Big Ball Demolition Company? . . . Good, I have a rush job for you . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctor fishlips, #Dilbert, #police, #bold, #escape, #prison, #institutions

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Doctor Fishlips: Hello, Dilbert, this is Doctor Fishlips. I was wondering if you could come back for some X-rays. Dilbert: X-rays? Is that standard procedure a week after an appendectomy? Doctor Fishlips: A patient from the prison is missing... I'm told this isn't the first time, "Tiny Tom," has tried a bold escape,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #library, #reference, #wondering, #dinosaurs, #eggs, #gross, #telephone

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Bob the Dinosaur says into the phone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" Bob says, "I have this . . . er . . . friend . . . who was wondering how dinosaurs have eggs. Uh-huh." Bob says to Dawn, "It's gross."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #news, #discovered, #anti-gravity, #formula, #newsworthy, #weight, #exercising, #misleading, #unethical, #marketing

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Dilbert floats in mid-air with a propeller attached to his back. He says into the phone, "Hello, ABC News? I've discovered an anti-gravity formula." Dilbert continues, "What?! It's not newsworthy?!" Dogbert says, "Tell him it lets you lose weight without exercising." Dilbert covers the telephone receiver and asks, "Isn't that misleading and unethical?" Dogbert replies, "There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #ring, #long, #distance, #company, #vague, #promises, #unverifiable, #savings, #switch, #inconvenient

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Dilbert walks toward a ringing phone. A voice on the telephone says, "Hello! This is a long-distance phone company with vague promises of unverifiable savings if you switch to us." The voice asks, "Is this an inconvenient time for you?" Dilbert replies, "No." The voice says, "Oh, then we'll call back later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #wilt, #ghandi, #chamberlain, #Women, #relations, #men and women

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A short man wearing an Indian pancha says to two women in a bar, "Hello, ladies." The man says, "I'm Wilt Ghandi. I'm the product of a genetic experiment combining the wisdom of Wilt Chamberlain and the body of Ghandi." One woman says, "That's the best line tonight. I'm going for it." The other woman says, "Hey, I saw him first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broken fax, #copier, #electronic mail, #incompatible software, #lan rewired, #no toner, #technology

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"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello

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"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #most talented, #technical professional, #Dogbert, #professional head hunter

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"Hello, this is Dogbert's professional headhunting service." "I find jobs for the most talented technical professionals. Several people mentioned your name." "So, is it true they'll be looking for somebody to fill your job soon? Hello?"