Holes In Torso Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert braces himself against the desk as his arm disappears into the computer. He shouts, "Help! Dogbert, I'm being sucked into cyberspace!" Dilbert's head and torso disappear into the computer and he screams. Dogbert grabs his pants. Dilbert is gone, but Dogbert holds his pants. He says, "Let's hope you don't need pants in cyberspace." Dilbert floats through a strange world. He thinks, "Wow! It's like a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fantasy but without the artistic look to it." Dilbert thinks, "It's beautiful! I'm interacting with the minds of brilliant people from around the globe." A sign that says "Internet" points to the right. Dilbert floats past an "E-mail" sign. He thinks, "I can see how all their ideas and knowledge fit together! It's exhilarating!" Dilbert floats toward the exit and thinks, "How can I ever describe this to somebody who hasn't been here?" Dilbert tells a woman, ". . . And I didn't even need pants!" The woman replies, "So, you're some kind of nerd, right?"
Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.
"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."
The Boss stands next to Dilbert's desk and says, "Let me introduce you to one of our engineers." The Boss tells Dilbert, "Karen is our new vice president. And you are . . .?" Dilbert reaches to shake the woman's hand and replies, "Dilbert: valued employee." The VP says, "I believe in open communications, Dilbert. Feel free to talk about anything." The Boss thinks, "Uh-oh." Karen asks, "So, what were you working on?" The Boss covers his eyes and thinks, "Oh no." Dilbert answers, "Well . . . I was just sending an e-mail to somebody who sits by a window to ask if it's raining." Dilbert continues, "If it's raining I'll fashion a raincoat from a large trash bag. Watch." Dilbert wears a plastic trash bag and says, "Three holes and you're ready to go!" The VP asks, "Are you planning to go out at lunch?" Dilbert replies, "Only if it rains."
At lunch, Dilbert says to Wally, "I don't know what kind of gift to buy for Ted's baby shower." Wally responds, "Hand-crafted items are good. Cut three holes in a paper bag and you've got a lovely baby dress." Dilbert says, "He might think I'm cheap." Wally holds up the table's salt shaker and asks, "Do you think the kid has a salt shaker yet?"
Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"
A man and a woman stand outside Alice's cubicle. Alice says, "I hate to interrupt your loud conversation outside my cubicle . . ." Alice continues, "But it you don't go away, I'll pound your inconsiderate head so far into your torso that you have to drop your pants to say hello." Wally asks Dilbert, "Did you just hear a strange noise?" Dilbert says, "It sounded like, 'Melp! Melp!'" Nearby, a man's head protrudes from his pants.
The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"
Carol stands in the doorway of Asok's cube with a measuring tape. Carol says, "Asok, the boss wants to see you in his office." Asok says, "He must want to thank me for all my hard work. Am I right?" Carol says, "I'm supposed to measure your torso." Asok says, "Is he knitting me a sweater?"
An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."