Human Contact Comic Strips - Page 2

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352 Results for Human Contact

View 11 - 20 results for human contact comic strips. Discover the best "Human Contact" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #eye, #contact, #uncontrollable, #urge, #blink, #twnety, #times

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #surprise, #accounting, #figures, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #darwin, #evolution, #fins, #aerodynamics, #innovation

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Dilbert has fins strapped to his elbows and head. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Well? What do you think?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert explains, "They're fins . . . Human aerodynamics! The field is totally neglected!!" Dilbert says, "You don't seem to be sharing my joy of innovation." Dogbert replies, "I'm just wondering how Darwin would explain it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #mother nature, #litterbugs, #human, #Dilbert, #example, #gary larson, #Cartoon

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Mother Nature: Mother Nature has decided to be lenient with you human litterbugs. You can stay on the planet, but I'll have to make an example of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #dog, #Dilbert, #donald trump, #ugly, #single, #male, #associated, #avoid, #eye, #contact, #horror, #maiden, #sacrifice, #drew, #straws, #marry

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The caption says, "It is the most feared and hated creature on earth." The caption says, "Not a dinosaur." Bob the Dinosaur growls. The caption says, "Not a rabid dog." Dogbert asks, "Rabid?" The caption says, "Not Donald Trump." Donald Trump wears a tuxedo. The caption says, "It is the 'ugly single male.'" Dilbert holds his arms out. The caption says, "Other males fear being associated with him." Dilbert says, "Hi, guys!" Two men run away from him. The caption says, "Women avoid eye contact and flee in horror." Dilbert asks, "Anybody free for lunch?" One woman puts her head down and covers her face. Another runs away. The caption says, "Only a maiden sacrifice can end the horror." A woman tells Dilbert, "We drew straws; I have to marry you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #women's guide to avoiding dilbert, #groups, #dissect, #Men, #boyfriend, #sentence, #ladies', #night, #tipped, #Number, #knows, #love, #romance, #ating

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The strip is titled, "Women's guide to avoiding Dilbert." The caption says, "Wear stereo headphones, look straight ahead and outrun him." Dilbert chases a jogger asking, "What's your name?" The woman ignores him. The caption says, "Comb your hair over your face to avoid accidental eye contact." Dilbert waves his hands at a woman but her hair covers her eyes. The caption says, "Travel in groups and make it clear you will dissect any man." A woman tells three other women, "I've noticed that all men have B.O. (body odor)." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "Drive to and from secret destinations in fast cars." Dilbert watches a woman drive by in a sports car. He thinks, "I wonder where she lives?" The caption says, "Mention a boyfriend in every sentence." Dilbert says, "Nice weather." The woman replies, "My boyfriend likes weather." The caption says, "Never attend a ladies' night activity." Dilbert stands in a bar with three other men. He thinks, "No women . . . I wonder what tipped them off." The caption says, "Never give out your real phone number." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This only has three digits." The woman says, "Everybody knows me there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #andy, #android, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #annoying, #imitate, #human, #behavior

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Dilbert: My android works! Andy: Hi. I am Andy the android. I am designed to rapidly analyze and imitate human behavior. Dilbert: This could be annoying. Andy: I know you are, but what am I?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #dance, #Dilbert, #eye contact, #spots, #wall, #awkwardly, #hate, #smile

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Dilbert sees someone walking down the hallway toward him. Dilbert thinks, "Now for the 'Dance of the Eye Contact.'" Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "I pretend to look at spots on the wall. If our eyes meet too soon we'll have to awkwardly smile for ten seconds." Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "Now!" The man thinks, "I hate the first smile of the day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #notice, #wearing, #contacts, #emergency, #backup, #system

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pants, #twelve-inch, #waist, #inches, #secret, #retail, #success, #merchandise, #shop, #harder, #retail store

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Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."