Injury Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
21 Results for Injury
View 11 - 20 results for injury comic strips. Discover the best "Injury" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 07,
2009
Tags walking, talking, confused, analyzing, worried, panic, injury, Sports
Transcript
The boss says, "I can't understand why?" Dilbert says, "Why did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no?this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me." Dilbert says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Anyway, as I was saying I can't figure out why so many employees are injured."
Thursday July 02,
2009
Tags marketing, harmful, product, military, injury, excited, violence, business
Transcript
Marketing Man says, "How do we market a product that is known to trigger dispondency and self-mutilation?" Woman says, "So?It has a military application?" Soldier says, "I thought it was just software, but before I knew it I was stabbing myself." General says, "Get me a trillion of there."
Sunday August 22,
2010
Tags presentation, powerpoint, ghost, ignore, read, run, boo, injury, bandage, hit person
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The status of my project is that apparently I died and became a ghost." Dilbert says, "I don?t remember dying, but the evidence of my untimely demise is clear." Dilbert says, "In the past week, no one has returned my phone calls or replied to my emails." Dilbert says, "When I try to print a document, I get nothing but error messages." Dilbert says, "Now all of you are looking at your phones and reading materials as if no one is speaking to you." Dilbert says, "I will now test my ghost theory by running through a living person." Dilbert says, "BOOOO!!!" Dilbert says, "Good news. I'm alive but unworthy of attention." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to watch a show."
Thursday March 13,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), pride, a-b testing, traffic to site, most effective search terms, wingless skunk, junkyard sbnack, planned injury, topper
Transcript
Coworker: I did A-B testing and found the search terms that bring the most people to our site. The most effective search terms are "wingless skunk," "junkyard snack," and "planned injury." Topper: Well, duh! You could have just asked me. Topper
Saturday June 28,
2014
Tags wounds & injuries, work related injury, year off, with pay, drinking coffee, listening to podcast, personal, butt hurts, kill, murder, surfing internet
Transcript
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Friday December 02,
2016
Brain Fragments
Tags bored, boredom, health, mundane
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.
Wednesday July 04,
2018
Reducing Headcount By Attrition
Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety
Transcript
CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.
Tuesday December 10,
2019
Adding Insult To Injury
Tags business, tech support, customer, calls, interface, reboot, idiot
Transcript
boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!
Wednesday January 08,
2020
Trial Postponed
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