Million Hours Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

331 Results for Million Hours

View 11 - 20 results for million hours comic strips. Discover the best "Million Hours" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sounds, #less, #million, #times, #french, #short, #tempered, #mockingly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #offer, #company, #ceo, #employees, #laid off, #accept, #neener, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #announcing, #staff, #reduction, #expenses, #paid, #year, #risky, #cut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "Our CEO is announcing a ten-percent staff reduction to cut expenses." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't our CEO get paid twenty million dollars this year?" The Boss replies, "Yes . . ." The Boss continues, "But risky jobs deserve higher pay." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't you say WE were getting cut?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #execute, #stock, #transactions, #pc, #insider, #sixty million, #slapping, #rolled, #newspaper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk and works on a computer as Dilbert watches from behind. Dogbert says, "I can execute my stock transactions on-line with the PC." Dogbert stops typing and says, "There . . . My insider trading netted another sixty million dollars." Dilbert shakes his finger at Dogbert and says, "Bad dog!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "I suppose it's too late to try slapping him with a rolled-up newspaper."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective

View Transcript

Transcript

A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #episode, #amazing, #ignorant, #people, #history, #perished

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: On today's episode of, "Dogberts amazingly ignorant people" we talk to people who don't know history. How many people perished because of world war II? Man: Uh... 400? Dogbert: The answer is fifty million. Man: Oh... Rounding.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #slogan, #inspire, #Dilbert, #quality, #extra, #pay, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally, Brenda another employee, "What the department needs is a slogan to inspire us." The Boss continues, "Our new slogan is 'We Are Quality.'" A woman says, "Suddenly I feel like working long hours for no extra pay." The Boss says, "It's working!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #crew, #investigate, #television, #healing, #scam, #money, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk counting bags of money and humming. Dilbert says, "A news crew is here to investigate your television healing scam." Dogbert sits in a chair across from a reporter and a tv camera. The reporter says, "Explain to our 40 million viewers where the money actually goes." Dogbert replies, "Send those checks to Dogbert, post office box . . ." The reporter thinks, "Maybe I phrased that wrong."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #money, #wrong, #invested, #options, #stock, #company, #desk, #zymed, #takeover, #rumors, #idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."