Morons Comic Strips - Page 2

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46 Results for Morons

View 11 - 20 results for morons comic strips. Discover the best "Morons" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #everyone talks funny, #not morons, #incapable, #clear communication, #think outside box, #watch ego, #before ego dies, #rebel, #do it

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The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #knowledge assets, #unmistakable message, #boss, #consultant, #business

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Dogbert is telling The Boss, "From now on, refer to your employees as 'knowledge assets.'" The Boss takes notes. Dogbert the Consultant is sitting on a couch and says, "That will send an unmistakable message." Dilbert comes home from work and says to Dogbert, "He calls us knowledge assets" now. He must think we're complete morons." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "It's an unmistakable message."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not policy, #fire morons, #expensive, #make your job unpleasent, #so you quit, #porject, #bitten by coyoytes, #vested

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The Boss has his hand on Donald's shoulder. Donald shirt is untucked and his tie is askew. The boss says, "It's not my policy to fire morons, Donald. Firing is expensive." The boss says, "It's my policy to make your job so unpleasant that you quit." Dilbert says, "So, your project involves being bitten by coyotes?" Donald is covered by small coyotes. Donald says, "Only two more years and I'm vested."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach morons, #high level jobs, #addicted to wagging, #ear clokwise, #tongue in

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job counseling, #disguise fact, #moron, #knowledge mangement, #optimization intiatives, #key learnings

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Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #become teacher, #educate leaders, #educate the morons, #stop beliveing, #eat the sdonut, #dreams, #crush

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Dilbert and Dogbert are eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe I should become a teacher so I can educate the leaders of tomorrow." Dogbert responds, "Maybe you should educate the morons of tomorrow so they'll stop believing the leaders of tomorrow." Dilbert replies, "Maybe I'll just eat this donut and go to work." Dogbert asks, "Do you have more dreams I can crush?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #vague intrsutcions, #morons annonymous, #pandemonium, #ends, #shoe sniffing contest, #mom called, #arguments, #business

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The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, if anyone calls, say I'm in a meeting." Carol asks, "What meeting?" The Boss replies, "It doesn't matter." Carol thinks, "#O!* vague instructions" as the phone rings. Carol says into the phone, "He's at his weekly meeting of 'Morons Anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "It's a long meeting. They usually get into an argument about the definition of 'anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "Half of them think it means 'angry.' Then someone throws a chair and it's pandemonium." She continues on the phone, "The whole thing usually ends with a shoe-sniffing contest." The Boss returns to Carol's desk. She says, "Your mom called."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #manuafacture mud, #water, #bags, #fertile soil, #huge demand, #bottled water, #bags of soil, #bottled air to morons, #elbonians

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Headline: In Elbonia. An Elbonian says to Dilbert, "We manufacture our mud using bottled water and bags of fertile soil." The other Elbonian holds up a bag of soil. Dilbert replies, "There's a huge demand in my country for bottled water and bags of soil." The Elbonian responds, "Is anyone selling bottled air to you morons yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #name the restrooms, #goddesses and morons, #only one, #entered contest

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The Boss reads aloud, "The winner of our 'Name the Restrooms' contest is Alice..." The Boss continues, "...For her suggestion of 'Goddesses' and 'Morons.'" Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "You're right; I was the only one who would enter that ridiculous contest."