Payroll Error Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

48 Results for Payroll Error

View 11 - 20 results for payroll error comic strips. Discover the best "Payroll Error" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #improvement, #document, #errors, #huge blinking red lights, #ambulance as warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk. Asok tells her, "I found many areas for improvement in your document, Alice." Asok continues, "I'm only an intern, but these error stand out like huge, red, blinking lights." Asok continues, "You could put this on top of an ambulance as a warning." Alice rolls up her sleeve as if she is about to punch Asok. She says, "I was thinking the same thing about you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #elbonian database, #payroll, #accounts receivable, #golf balls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and an Elbonian man sit at a conference table. The Elbonian says, "Our Elbonian database product can replace every one of your current systems." Dilbert says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells Alice, "It can do payroll, accounts receivable, inventory, sales . . ." Alice says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells the Boss, "And I'll throw in some golf balls." The Boss replies, "It's a deal! Just toss them in the lake with all my other ones."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #budgets, #spreadhseet, #error, #exercise in futility, #hum

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Asok, who sits zombie like at his computer, and says, "It's a funny thing about budgets...." Dilbert says, "No matter how hard you try, there's always a spreadsheet error that makes it all an exercise in futility." Dilbert says, "Do you mind if I hum?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #paul tergeist, #technology, #new lab partner, #pen hovering

View Transcript

Transcript

A strange-looking man with a tie that sticks-up in the air introduces himself to Dilbert who is sitting facing his computer. The man says: "My name is Paul Tergeist." Dilbert is attentively looking at his computer which displays an error message. Paul Tergeist continues: "I have a way with technology." Dilbert's computer crashes. The Boss appears and asks Dilbert: "Have you met your new lab partner?" Dilbert does not answer him, however, as he is staring with perplexity at his pen, which is suspended in mid-air before his eyes. Dilbert exclaims: "My pen is hovering!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #accounting system, #dysfunctional, #meaningless, #payroll exppenses, #zero, #management genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #interview, #long story, #bank story, #argued, #admit mistake, #landmark court case, #bank claims, #dumb guy, #fit in

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is with another man and introduces him to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to interview Matt for our department." Dilbert asks Matt, "There's a three-year gap in your work history. What were you doing?" Matt replies, "One day I was balancing my checkbook and noticed a bank error." Matt continues, "So I embarked on a three-year mission to make the bank admit its mistake!" Matt continues, "I worked the phones day and night, rarely eating or bathing." Matt continues, "Then came the sit-ins, the media frenzy and the landmark court case." Matt exclaims, "The bank claimed that seven minus four is three. And I'm like, 'Since when?'" After the interview, The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would he fit in?" Dilbert replies, "Unfortunately, yes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #involuntary sepration, #payroll, #fired, #can't touch anything, #way of saying fired

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ted, you're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." "I'm fired." "No-o-o-o. It's just that you won't be part of the payroll system." "And you're not allowed to touch anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #over paid, #4 dollars, #honest, #reports mistake, #bowels of bureaucarzy, #correct injustice

View Transcript

Transcript

ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!