Proud Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Proud

View 11 - 20 results for proud comic strips. Discover the best "Proud" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags weekly, wally status report, process pride, impact on earnings, pride in results, high level, morale, pride in process

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project plan, strategy, leadership, radiates, boss ego, proud, strategy is plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert at his computer terminal. The Boss says, "Is your project plan done?" Diblert ressonds, "I can't do a plan until you tell me the strategy." The Boss says, "My strategy is to make you do a plan." Dilbert stares at his computer. The Boss walks away and thinks, "Sometimes the leadership just radiates from my body."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, mother, buy wquipment, budget cut, navy seal, mom proud, blocks reality, doesn't hear son, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dilbert's Mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert says, "My boss told me to buy a bunch of equipment that we don't need." Dilbert's Mom hands Dilbert a piece of cake and a glass of milk. Dilbert says, "That way our budget won't get cut next year." Dilbert's mom says, "I'm so proud of you, son." Dilbert says, "How do you say that with a straight face?" Dilbert's mom says, "I try to imagine you as a navy seal." Dilbert's mom salutes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bans cofee, cubicles, distarction, mess up desks, alice, too tsupid, drink coffee and work, same time, ceo, expenses

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss reads from a piece of paper in a meeting. The boss says, "The new policy from our CEO bans coffee from cubicles." The boss says, "Because he says, "It causes a distraction" and can "mess up desks." Dilbert says, "How did..." Alice says, "Hold it Dilbert." Wally says, "It's Alice's turn." Alice says, "You get the next easy one." Wally says, "Make us proud." Alice says, "Ahem, ahem" Alice says, "How did he become ceo..." Alice stands and says, "...if he's too stupid to drink coffee and work at the same time?" The boss says, "Our CEO also discussed unnecessary expenses." Wally says, to Dilbert, "Lucky!" Dilbert says, "Ahem."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags newly designated, fire warden, bitter, assignment, regular job, last one out, safety, fire, panic, flushing self, exit door

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unwritten rule, talked to boss's boss, rule against, interesting, wonder why, transmitting, rules of esp, outgoing signals, silent, not supposed to, unwritten, boss, alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks, "I did what?" The Boss responds, "You talked to my boss without my permission." Alice says, "I don't remember reading a rule against that." The Boss replies, "That's because it's an unwritten rule." Alice says, "Unwritten you say? Hmm.. isn't that interesting? I wonder why it's unwritten." Alice continues, "I would think you'd be proud to write down an excellent rule such as that." Alice continues, "But if you prefer to keep transmitting rules by ESP, your skull seems to be blocking the out-going signals." Alice continues, "If you're sending a new rule now, turn your head so it can come out your ear hole."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags award, family haters, association, anti family practice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. He opens an envelope and says, "I got an award!" The Boss reads, 'The 'Family-Haters Association' is proud to give you this award for your anti-family practices.'" The Boss hangs the award on his wall and thinks, "I hope no one reads it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vp of marketing, new version of prodcut, testamnet, customers, new version, raw data, customers hate us

View Transcript

Transcript

As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mother and son, cooking, cooking show, televsion, too much salt, mad mom, complaining, mom questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmon: Have you made your mother proud by becoming a manager? Dilbert: No Have you made your son proud by hosting a cooking show on television? You could call the show "cooking with too much salt" Dilmon: How did you get this way?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work well, superviuson, vague objectives, recognition, contribution, excited by criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "Yes! I thrive on vague objectives and a complete lack of recognition for my contribution!" The Boss: "Can you handle criticism?" Candidate: "I'm not too proud to say it excites me!"