Restroom Breaks Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for restroom breaks comic strips. Discover the best "Restroom Breaks" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paperless office concept, #restroom situation

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Since implementing our 'paperless office' concept, we've saved . . ." The Boss looks at a figure written on the back of his hand and says, "Uh . . . ten percent!" Wally looks at his arm and says, "Next on the agenda: the restroom situation . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #network administartor, #my card, #email, #wag tail, #pager numeber, #tilde

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Dogbert stands on the chair armrest and tells Dilbert, "I got hired as the network administrator for your company." Dogbert says, "Here's my card. You can only reach me by e-mail or by pager." Dogbert continues, "When the network breaks, no e-mail. I'll just sit around and wag my tail." Dilbert looks at the business card and says, "Your pager number has a tilde . . . How do I dial a tilde?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #monitor, #stressed out, #strategy, #downsizing, #big wuss

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Catbert stands on a monitor and says, "Are you stressed out, Wally? I have a solution." Catbert continues, "Start smoking. That way you'll have frequent company-sanctioned breaks throughout the day." Wally asks, "This is your strategy for downsizing, isn't it?" Catbert offers a pack of cigarettes to Wally and says, "Try it, you big wuss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decided, #start smoking, #add interesting edge, #personality, #need help, #personal magnetism, #erase hard drive, #psychology

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Wally tells Alice, "I've decided to start smoking. I'll be able to take more breaks that way." Wally continues, "And frankly, I'm hoping it will add an interesting edge to my personality and help me socially." Alice reaches into a box. Wally continues, "Not that I need any help." Alice says, "I can only pray that your personal magnetism won't erase my hard drive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first cigarette ever, #smoking breaks, #entitled, #3x a day, #smoking, #chatting, #fresh air, #color coded end

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Wally approaches a man and a woman who are smoking. He says, "Here's my first cigarette ever. I'm looking forward to the many smoking breaks I'm entitled to." Wally says, "I'll probably see you three times a day, just smoking and chatting and enjoying the fresh air!" Wally says, "I assume you light the color-coded end, right?" The man and woman drop their cigarettes and say, "I quit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #perfromance review, #bell curve, #make up flaws, #does not wash hands, #after restroom

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The Boss tells Wally, "Bad news on your performance review, Wally." The Boss continues, "Everyone performed the same. But I'm required to rank the group on a bell curve." The Boss continues, "I had to make up some flaws to move you down the curve. Here's a pen. Sign it." Wally reads the review, "Employee does not wash hands after using the restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ballon with sand, #breaks, #little ballon, #requests new keyboard, #sand in keyboard, #stressful day, #reduce stress

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Dilbert squeezes a "stress ball" while he sits at his computer. He thinks, "It's been a stressful day. Luckily I have this little balloon full of sand to squeeze and reduce my stress." Dilbert squeezes the balloon so hard it goes "poof" and sand falls into his keyboard. Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The Boss holds a paper, an equipment request, and says to Dilbert, "You need a new kybard? What's a kybard?" Dilbert is extremely angry and screams, "Just sign the stupid thing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing dept, #engineering dept, #other engineers, #careless mistake, #need nets, #rope, #tranquilizer darts, #askengineering

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Marketing Department: A guy walks by a table and says, "Hey! It's a magazine!" He reaches for it. Engineering Department: A loud speaker says, "Danger! A magazine has been discovered in marketing!" Alice looks scared. Alice pokes her head into Dilbert cubicle and says, "Marketing has a magazine!" Dilbert gasps and his hair stands on end. Dilbert heads for the War Room. He says, "Gather the other engineers. We must get that magazine." Alice says, "Check." Dilbert says to Alice, Asok and Wally, "We think is was a careless mistake by someone in the mail department." Dilbert says, "As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge." Dilbert points to a diagram on the dry-erase board. He says, "We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope and traquilizer darts." The marketing guy starts to enter the men's restroom as a darts flies towards his neck. He thinks, "I'll have to ask engineering to build one of these space staions..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #vacation policy, #more vacation days, #restroom breaks, #count as vacation, #porcelain cruise

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Catbert enters a meeting. Dilbert and the Boss are already there. Catbert, sitting between Asok the Intern and Dilbert, begins, "There's been a slight change in the vacation policy." Asok asks, "Are we getting more vacation days?" Catbert responds, "You must be new here." Catbert continues, "As you know, all vacation time must be used in the year it is earned." Catbert then says, "I realize this is not always convenient. So I've decided to be flexible." Catbert: "From now on, any time you spend in the restroom will count as vacation." The meeting is over. As Dilbert leaves, he says to Wally, "We should complain." Wally counters with, "If you need me, I'll be taking a porcelain cruise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telephone shyness, #make business calls, #restroom, #shyness passes, #Dilbert, #office

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Dilbert in his cubicle in his office next to his computer staring at the phone thinking, "I'm having a severe case of telephone shyness." Dilbert thinking, "I'm afraid to pick up the phone and make business calls." Dilbert entering the restroom thinking, "I'll duck into a restroom stall until the shyness passes."