Robot Leaks Comic Strips - Page 2

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154 Results for Robot Leaks

View 11 - 20 results for robot leaks comic strips. Discover the best "Robot Leaks" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective

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A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stock, #shares, #timely leaks, #media, #value plunged, #sell now, #fair share price, #want copy, #Entertainment

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Dogbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and three other managers. Dogbert says, "Your stock was $30 per share when I offered to buy the company, but thanks to some timely leaks to the media your value has plunged." Dogbert continues, "However, if you sell right now I'll pay the full $30 for your stock." The Boss says, "I recommend we do it." A manager hands the signed contract back to Dogbert and says, "Done. $30 per share is more than fair." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, 'per share' would have been fair. Anybody want a copy?" The Boss looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert the consultant, #ad campign, #tony sincereity, #introdcue prodcut, #invisible robot, #empty box

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Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert sits at the conference table with Alice and Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Our ad campaign featuring phony sincerity is working." Dogberts hands Alice and Dilbert pieces of paper. Dogbert says, "In phase two, we'll introduce our newest product, the invisible robot." Alice says, "We don't know how to make an invisible robot." Dogbert says, "Do you know how to make an empty box?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogcart the consultant, #invisible robot, #empty box, #train support staff, #customers house, #sensors

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Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert stands on a conference table. Dogbert says, "Some customers might complain that the invisible robot they bought from us.." Dogbert says, to Wally and Dilbert, "...is nothing but an empty box.. I will train our support staff to handle those calls." Caption: "Customer's House" A customer talks on the phone in his living room, near an empty cardboard box. He is terrified. The voice on the other end of the phone says, "According to our sensors, he's in your house... and he's watching you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evil robot, #annihilates the galaxy, #worst means

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A male co-worker asks Dilbert, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "Our beta product could turn into an evil robot that annihilates the galaxy." Approaching Dogbert, Dilbert says, "Apparently I don't know what 'worst' means."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #roboboss, #trivial task, #insulted, #mange with machine, #plywoodboss, #handle it

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The Boss introduces a robot to Dilbert, "This is Roboboss. He'll handle all of my trivial tasks." Dilbert responds, "I'm totally insulted that you think you can manage us with a machine!" The Boss turns to Roboboss and says, "Handle that." Roboboss responds, "I'll delegate it to my assistant, Plywood Boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #falling for robot, #human, #robo boss, #robot, #shallow compliments, #soulless machine

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Roboboss and Alice are at dinner. Alice says, "Roboboss, can this relationship work? After all, I'm a human.." Alice continues, "And you're a soulless machine designed to give shallow compliments to employees." Roboboss says, "You're giving 110%." Alice replies, "Stop.. don't make me love you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #visibuddy, #mindless replica, #increases visibility, #golf, #nice guy, #invention, #fake clone, #robot, #Sports

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Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

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"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #ship, #software, #bugs, #objection, #gray area, #example, #mock, #robot from the future, #annoyed, #business, #engineering

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The Boss says, "We start shipping in two weeks." Dilbert says, "That's not enough time to fix the known bugs." The Boss says, "When you say, 'bugs,' that's sort of a gray area." Dilbert says, "Um? I don't think it is." The Boss says, "For example, a user might need several steps to do something that should only take one." The Boss says, "Or perhaps the interface is a bit unclear." Dilbert says, "or perhaps it can only be operated by a robot from the future who jacks into it and sends commands in zeros and ones." The Boss says, "I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or mocking me." Dilbert says, "That's sort of a gray area."