Salesman Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Salesman

View 11 - 20 results for salesman comic strips. Discover the best "Salesman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, tennis, racket, interested, colorful, all-plastic, titanium, alloy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of a store with a sign that says, "Tennis rackets on sale." Dogbert tells the salesclerk, "I'm looking for a new racket." The clerk says, "You're probably interested in our colorful all-plastic rackets for pathetic beginners." Dogbert replies, "No, actually I'm interested in the titanium alloy Deathstick 3000." The salesperson laughs and says, "Ha ha! As if a dumpy little pooch could handle that kind of power on the court!" The salesman hands Dogbert a racket and says, "Here . . . You can touch it, but I'm only humoring you." The salesclerk crashes through the wall. Dogbert holds the racket and says, "This is the perfect racket for those who don't take losing gracefully."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, jewelry, secret, interested, diamond, concept, money, pebble, ground, rare, very, restrict, supply, bag, party, bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of a display case in a jewelry store. The salesclerk asks, "Are you interested in our diamond jewelry?" Dogbert says, "Let me see if I understand the concept here . . ." Dogbert says, ". . . I would give you thousands of dollars, and in return . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You would give me a pebble you found on the ground." The salesman says, "These are no ordinary pebbles. Diamonds are very rare." Dogbert replies, "Rare? That's only because you made a marketing decision to restrict the supply." The clerk scoops some diamonds into a sack and says, "Okay, okay, you figured us out. I'll give you a free bag of diamonds if you'll go away and keep quiet." Dogbert walks on the sidewalk carrying a bag. He says, "Great . . . Now I'm a party to this ugly little secret."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, driving school, student, driver, stereo, signal, car, phone, defrost, window, fishing, driving, simulator, test, drive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, laptop, computers, outdated, fingernail, models, glue, permanently, fingers

View Transcript

Transcript

A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, device, satellites, broadcasters, illegal, sell, electronic, fishing, lure, hijack, hat, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a store clerk, "I'm looking for a device that will allow me to take over the satellites of all the major broadcasters." The salesclerk winks as he says, "It would be illegal to sell something like that. But maybe you'd be interested in an electronic fishing lure instead." The salesman continues winking as he says, "Fish can't resist the 'Hijack 3000' lure. And it comes with its own stupid-looking hat!" Dogbert says, "Clever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, electron hut, p-connect, adapter, shelf, salesman, computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a computer store called the "Electron Hut." Dilbert tells the salesman, "I'm looking for a p-connect adapter post." The clerk replies, "We don't have any." Dilbert points to the wall and says, "There's a whole shelf of them right behind you." The salesclerk replies, "They're only five cents apiece. I can't waste my time selling them." Dilbert says, "I'm the only customer in the store! Besides, why do you stock something you don't want to sell?" The clerk throws the posts at Dilbert's head and says, "Here! Take three! And stop wasting my time!" Dilbert kneels on the floor and picks up the posts. The salesman asks, "While you're here, have you seen our fine line of computers?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, slaughter, animals, shoes, leather, country, slave, labor, Dogbert, premium, cloth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a shoe store. A salesperson asks, "Can I help you?" Dilbert tells the salesman, "I oppose the slaughter of helpless animals. Do you have any shoes that aren't made of leather?" The man replies, "Yeah, but they would make you look like a twit." Dilbert says, "Well, forget that. Do you have any shoes made in this country?" The salesman replies, "Yeah, but they cost more." Dilbert says, "Okay, forget that. Just show me some shoes that weren't made with slave labor." The man says, "We charge a premium for no-slave shoes." Dilbert replies, "Well, forget that." Dilbert arrives at home with a shoebox. Dogbert asks, "How much did you sell your soul for?" Dilbert answers, "Forty bucks and a little shine cloth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, stan, customer, engineering, deliver, salesman, classes, night, karate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Stan, you promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver do you know what this means?! Stan: It means I'm great salesman and you're a putrid engineer. Maybe you should consider taking classes at night. Dilbert: Karate classes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, Dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer

View Transcript

Transcript

"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags device conforms, international standards, communications, not fault, less experineced, boss phone number, vendor, salesman

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our device conforms to all international standards for communications." "In other words, it doesn't do anything useful and it's not your fault." "Is there somebody less experienced I could talk to?" "Do you have my boss's number?"