Smartest Human Alive Comic Strips - Page 2

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369 Results for Smartest Human Alive

View 11 - 20 results for smartest human alive comic strips. Discover the best "Smartest Human Alive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #surprise, #accounting, #figures, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #darwin, #evolution, #fins, #aerodynamics, #innovation

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Dilbert has fins strapped to his elbows and head. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Well? What do you think?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert explains, "They're fins . . . Human aerodynamics! The field is totally neglected!!" Dilbert says, "You don't seem to be sharing my joy of innovation." Dogbert replies, "I'm just wondering how Darwin would explain it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #mother nature, #litterbugs, #human, #Dilbert, #example, #gary larson, #Cartoon

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Mother Nature: Mother Nature has decided to be lenient with you human litterbugs. You can stay on the planet, but I'll have to make an example of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #invention, #alive, #holographic, #message, #Dogbert, #chile, #carne

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Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alive, #Dogbert, #servant, #ancient, #Dogs, #banana split

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Dilbert, who is naked, picks Dogbert up and says, "I'm alive!! I owe my life to you, Dogbert, for cloning me in the nick of time." Dogbert says, "According to ancient dog tradition, you must be my servant for life." Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a counter in a restaurant. Dogbert says, "Don't tell the ancient dogs I settled for a banana split."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain

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Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #andy, #android, #Dogbert, #andy the android, #annoying, #imitate, #human, #behavior

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Dilbert: My android works! Andy: Hi. I am Andy the android. I am designed to rapidly analyze and imitate human behavior. Dilbert: This could be annoying. Andy: I know you are, but what am I?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #duck, #sled, #santa, #fell, #dropped, #head, #alive, #jolly, #elf, #holiday, #season, #myself, #gifts, #stole, #buried, #backyard, #wars, #venison, #taste

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The caption says, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . . " Santa Claus and his reindeer fly over the rooftops. The caption says, "When a duck hit the sled . . ." A duck crashes into Santa. The story continues, "Santa fell out . . ." Santa dives toward the ground. The caption continues, "And dropped on his head . . ." Santa crashes through the roof of a house. The caption continues, "He was barely alive, this jolly old elf . . ." Dogbert stands next to the fireplace. Santa lies on the floor near the Christmas tree. The caption continues, "'Twas the holiday season, so I thought of myself . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey! I don't see any gifts here!" The caption continues, "So I stole his hat and buried him in the back yard. The end." Dogbert walks through the back yard wearing Santa's hat and holding a shovel. Dogbert sits in his chair holding a book. He says, "Um . . . This is interesting, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "The sequel is titled 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #snow, #mountain, #jet, #captain, #bob, #fly, #luck, #survive, #eat, #cannibal, #last

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Dilbert, Dogbert and several other passengers stand in waist-deep snow. Dilbert says, "We're alive . . . We must have been thrown clear when the jet hit the mountain." The airplane captain says to Dilbert, "I'm Captain Bob. Sorry about the crash. What are the odds I'd hit this same mountain on every flight?" As Bob walks away Dilbert says, "We're in luck. Captain Bob knows how to survive these situations." Bob thinks, "Nice folks. I'll eat them last."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #special, #washing, #instructions, #fold, #garment, #star, #cotton, #swathes, #launder, #glacier, #water, #detergent, #glandular, #australian, #nik-nik, #bug, #alive, #delicate, #quick

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Dilbert carries a load of dirty clothes to the washing machine. Dilbert looks at the label on a shirt collar. He reads, "Special washing instructions." Dilbert reads, "Fold the garment in a five-point star and wrap in cotton swathes . . ." Dilbert reads, "Launder only in pure glacier water heated to 98 degrees . . ." Dilbert reads, "For detergent, use only the glandular secretion of the Australian nik-nik bug . . ." Dilbert reads, "In fact, I'm so delicate that you're hurting me right now. Ouch! Ouch! Let me go! Help!" Dilbert stuffs the shirt into the machine." Dilbert says, "The best I can do is to make it quick." A scream comes from the machine.