Swear Comic Strips - Page 2
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23 Results for Swear
View 11 - 20 results for swear comic strips. Discover the best "Swear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 02,
2001
Tags new sales manager, pig boy, makes inappropriate comments, employment screening process, inappropriate comments, swear, date one eyed carpenter
Transcript
Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."
Saturday August 31,
2002
Tags evolving zit, third eye, cosmic reasons, dinosaur, topical antibiotics, tivo
Transcript
The Bullysaur says to Bob, "Hello, Bob. I hear you're evolving a zit into a third eye, trying to get an advantage." Bob responds, "Gaaa!! No, it's only for cosmetic reasons, I swear!!" The Bullysaur mutters, "Hmm..." Dogbert and Dilbert are on the couch. Bob's voice is heard, "Gaaa!!" Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Wanna watch a dinosaur be forced to use topical antibiotics?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have 'TIVO.'"
Wednesday May 05,
2010
Tags magic button, cost estimates, push, phrase, swear
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."
Friday June 04,
2010
Tags school, coach, time management, rudeness, stand on stool, angry, yell, swear, type, cell phone, wag tail, education, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
Thursday July 15,
2010
Saturday August 21,
2010
Saturday October 02,
2010
Tags marketing, meeting, slides, ad campaign, baby, hobos, cool, swear, insult, business
Transcript
Man says, "Our ad campaign will portray users of our competitor's products as baby-eating hobos." Man says, "While our users will be portrayed by the coolest guy in the entire world." Soon the meeting turned ugly Alice says, "Then why are you showing a slide of a giant @$$#%*?"
Thursday January 27,
2011
Tags fear, rodents, transcontinental journeys, elbonia, too cold, airplanes, operate, underground route, fly, switzerland, swear system, sewerside mission, warm jacket, rat hammer
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."
Saturday April 12,
2014
Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad
Transcript
CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.
Saturday May 03,
2014
Tags magician, press agents, pubilcity, famous magician, fired, stayed in swear, rats for month
Transcript
Dilbert: Your last job was doing publicity for a famous magician. Why did you leave. Interviewee: My boss fired me after the trick where he stayed in a sewer full of rats for a month. Dilbert: I didn't hear about that. Interviewee: I forgot to tell anyone it was happening.
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