Taken Training Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

185 Results for Taken Training

View 11 - 20 results for taken training comic strips. Discover the best "Taken Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #profits, #low, #training, #class, #cute, #jumpy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dating, #service, #deep, #down, #fantasy, #woman, #modelled, #brochure, #francis, #kris

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Dogbert's Dating Service." A man says, "I'd like to sign up." The customer continues, "Although deep down I know that all of the people in your service are men, I cling to the fantasy of meeting the woman who modeled for your brochure." Dogbert says, "She's taken, but I can match you with somebody named 'Francis' or 'Kris.'" The man replies, "There's hope!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #executive, #business meeting, #hr

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You all know our president, Mister Goodenrich. He's here to answer any questions you have." Alice asks, "Why aren't there any women or minorities in senior management positions?" Mr. Goodenrich replies, "We think women are for making babies. As for minorities, we fear them." Wally asks, "How can you justify your ten million dollar salary when profits are down?" The president laughs and replies, "The board of directors are friends of mine and it's not their money they're spending." Dilbert asks, "Why does the company keep talking about employee training while at the same time slashing the training budget?" The president replies, "We think you're too dumb to train. We'll hire people from the outside if we need talent." Wally says, "I must say, your honesty is kind of refreshing." The president replies, "And you're all fired for asking questions."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #parking lot, #car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand in a parking lot. A man approaches their car and says, "Hey! Dilbert! Is that your nerdmobile?" The man laughs. Dilbert thinks, "It's my old high school nemesis, Chuck." Chuck says, "Maybe you'd like to race me in my Corvette." He laughs. Dilbert points to his car and says, "Actually, Chuck, if you had taken a science class you'd know this a 'Seebeck effect' power plant capable of 600 miles per hour." Dilbert continues, "Any idiot knows you can get massive power simply by using the sun to heat the junction of two dissimilar wires joined at both ends." Dilbert continues, "Apparently I'm faster AND smarter than you. And these tax forms show that I also earn more than you." Dogbert holds up the forms. Chuck says, "Here's a picture of my new girlfriend. She teaches aerobics." Dilbert says, "He's winning. Help me out here, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Step aside." Dogbert tells Chuck, "I notice that your girlfriend has unusually large hands and a very pronounced Adam's apple." Chuck asks, "So?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #matt, #Dilbert, #computer, #mentoring, #productivity, #training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #eliminated budget, #getting dumber, #brain shrivel, #hair different

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You've completely eliminated the budget for technical training! Im getting dumber every minute, My brain is starting to shrivel like a raisin! The Boss: Get out of my office. Dilbert: even my hair feels different.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sexist comments, #sensitivity training, #midol, #period, #Women, #chicks, #shopping, #hits boss, #crying

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, I'm sending you to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Alice doesn't have to go because chicks are born already knowing this stuff. It's as natural as shopping and crying." Dilbert: "Can I get a 'Midol' for either one of you?" "Whump whump whump"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #diveristy, #sensitivity training, #seek better understanding, #dumpy white guy section

View Transcript

Transcript

"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."