Team Players Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

220 Results for Team Players

View 11 - 20 results for team players comic strips. Discover the best "Team Players" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #dating, #tweeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table. The woman says, "We always used to go to the . . ." Someone blows a whistle. Dogbert approaches Dilbert from behind shouting, "Stop the action!" Dogbert points at the woman and says, "That's a penalty for talking about an old boyfriend!" Dogbert points at Dilbert and says, "The opposing date gets one minute to talk about a sports event!" Dilbert says, "Then Mullin hits the jump shot . . ." Dogbert blows the whistle. Dogbert says, "Penalty! Staring at the waitress for no legitimate reason!!" The woman thinks, "Yes!" Dogbert says, "The visiting team gets one minute to discuss 'feelings.'" The woman says, "I think of you in the 'friend' category." Dogbert waves his paws and shouts, "Score!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #albert, #bonding, #shoulder, #massage, #team, #player, #buddy, #vulcan, #death, #grip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'll give you Albert a male bonding shoulder massage to show I'm a team player. Hey, Al! Keep up the work, Buddy! Oops... That might have been the Vulcan death grip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #bob, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Listen to me, Bob. Individually, we're nothing but a rat and a dinosaur . . ." Ratbert continues, "But if we team up we'd have your mighty strength plus my . . . Uh . . . My . . ." Bob asks, "Brain?" Ratbert replies, "No, that doesn't sound right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #bob, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert rides on Bob the Dinosaur's back. Ratbert says, "What a team we make, Bob!" Ratbert continues, "Now I won't need to act pathetic to get love. I'll get all the spillover love that people naturally have for dinosaurs!" Someone says, "Eww! It's a huge lizard with a talking zit. I'm gonna be sick." Ratbert says, "Great . . . I got a defective dinosaur."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #meeting, #job application

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and says, "Your entire staff volunteered to work on my task force. Now I want them and their budgets transferred to me." The Boss asks, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert replies, "If you don't, I'll tell everybody you're not a team player . . . Sign here." The Boss says as he signs, "So . . . Now I'm on the team, right?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . The losing team . . . By yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #city soccer league, #never played, #natural instinct, #ball trajectory, #team play, #ruin concentration

View Transcript

Transcript

"I joined the city soccer league." "I've never played, but as an engineer I have a natural instinct for ball trajectory and passing angles." "Where does the team play?" "Coach doesn't want to ruin my concentration by telling me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank off head, #coach, #field, #game, #glasses, #goal, #soccer, #strike, #team players, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Player man: dilbert, you'll be playing the left striker position. Player man: one of our good players will try to strike tony in th head with the ball and bank it in the goal, LIZ: "It" being the ball not your head. Dilbert: Id better take off y glasses. LIZ: No, don't, I included their dampening effect in my calculations.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no ring, #dilbert asks liz, #date, #pizza date, #after game, #big ring, #eunuchs, #special van, #flop sweat, #kidding, #joke, #gullible, #likes gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

"Liz, I noticed you're not wearing a ring. Would you like to go for a pizza after the game?" "Oh, I do have a ring. It's so big I can't wear it. A team of eunuchs follows me around with it in a special van." "Flop-sweat time." "You're gullible. I like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share accomplishements, #meeting, #share, #tiger team, #lock up session, #meeting cancelled, #nothing tangible, #busy work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Let's each share our accomplishments for the month. Dilbert: To the untrained observer it might seem like I didn't accomplish anything. However, I did strategically "position" my project by socializing it within the company. Dilbert: Then Wally and I help a "tiger team" lock up session. Then I prepared the executive briefing package for the big meeting that got cancelled. Since then Ive spent most if my time looking for the best project management software to use. And I did it all within ten percent of my budget goal, Dilbert: Looking good. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing.