Tech Support Comic Strips - Page 2
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262 Results for Tech Support
View 11 - 20 results for tech support comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 19,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, project, man
Transcript
The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday December 20,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, christmas, dog
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's a list of my Christmas demands." Dogbert says, "Follow the instructions and nobody gets hurt." Dilbert says, "You're bluffing. You wouldn't hurt my plastic window Santa." Dogbert holds the electric cord to the decoration and says, "One yank and he's off life support!"
Monday February 28,
1994
Tags reengineer, business processes, jump on band wagon
Transcript
The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,
Sunday June 19,
1994
Tags new cucbicle, self suffcient, work space, life suport, various tubes, watch to body, vital signs, monitor, central location, human resources dept, emergency hiring
Transcript
"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."
Monday September 19,
1994
Tags big tech show, curly haired guys, salmon, spawning opportunites, vast sea, indistinct products, trade show, facial hair
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,
Wednesday September 21,
1994
Tags losing life support, red alert, scanning, tractor beam, trade show
Transcript
AT the trade show.... Dilbert: Uh-oh. A vendor is scanning me. Dilbert: Im caught in a tractor beam! red alert! red alert! Losing life support systems Man: ...and I can even calculate fractions!
Thursday September 29,
1994
Tags new strategy, tech support, that customers, user manual, defective products
Transcript
The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.
Tuesday November 29,
1994
Tags lowest bid, technical support hotline, other bidders
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You submitted the lowest bid to run our new technical support hotline, Mister Dogbert." The Boss continues, "The other bidders would love to know how you plan to handle twelve thousand calls a day by yourself." Dogbert replies, "Tell them to call me."
Wednesday November 30,
1994
Tags dogberts tech support, dierctions, arrange parts, piles, stand on chair, above cubicle wall, shout to coworkers, read manual
Transcript
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "I think I know what your problem is . . ." Dogbert continues, "Take all the parts and arrange them in neat piles. Now stand on your chair so you can see above your cubicle wall." A man stands on his chair holding the phone and looking over the cubicle walls. On the other end of the phone Dogbert continues, "Now shout 'Does anybody know how to read a manual?'"
Thursday December 01,
1994
Tags dogberts tech support, online data base, compatible, computer, software, red blotches, poison ivy, technology, engineering
Transcript
DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk using a computer. He says into the phone, "According to my online database, our product isn't compatible with your computer." Dogbert continues, "It's also incompatible with all other computers and all other software including our own." Dogbert continues, "And those red blotches on your hands - that's because our box is made of poison ivy."

