Unethical Filling Comic Strips - Page 2

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36 Results for Unethical Filling

View 11 - 20 results for unethical filling comic strips. Discover the best "Unethical Filling" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #epic year, #unethical behavior, #rebarnding, #hired dogcart consulting, #small improvements, #rename company, #stinking weasel, #slogan, #steal, #rob, #corruption, #hiring pirate, #diseased parrot

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Thanks to an epic year of unethical behavior..." The Boss continues, "We need to do some rebranding so that no one knows who we are." The Boss points to Dogbert and continues, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to help." Dogbert says, "You can't fix your image all at once. I recommend starting with small improvements." Dogbert continues, "First, rename the company to Stinkingweasels Inc." Dogbert continues, "The new slogan will be 'We steal in ways you've never even heard of.'" Dogbert turns to The Boss and says, "For your spokesperson, I recommend hiring a pirate with a diseased parrot." The Boss is holding a bag of money. He says to the pirate, "No?" The pirate responds, "We have standards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad person, #crud, #despicable, #loathesome, #rehearsed, #walks with dog, #unethical

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Dilbert and Dogbert are walking outside. Dilbert says, "I work for an unethical company. Does that make me a bad person?" Dogbert replies, "You're loathsome and despicable. If crud were shoes, you would be the crud in the crud's shoes." Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on stones in a field. Dilbert asks, "Why did that seem rehearsed?" Dogbert responds, "That's all I think about when we go for walks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

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The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

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The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scientits, #unethical scientits, #human clone, #infomercial

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Dogbert: My wealth - building system has been verified by actual scientists. Dogbert: where can I find an unethical scientist? And if Im to busy, my human clone can do your infomercial. Dogbert: good prices.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil wind blowing, #dark soul, #evil director, #human resources, #employee survey, #over reacted, #well being, #business

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"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clone themsleves, #unethical, #morality, #self causing, #accepted norms, #garbageman

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"Why is it unethical for humans to clone themselves?" "Morality is based on accepted norms. And accepted norms are based on morality." "It's self causing?" "Ironically, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"And then we'll send the draft for review..." BZZZZZT! "Greetings. I am Wally from the year 2040." "In the future, time travel will be possible but highly unethical." "But it's only unethical if you make the mistake of changing anything from the past." "I was out of coffee so I came here to get a fresh cup. Ah, here we go." "I have to run. Make sure nothing changes because of my visit or it will kill everyone in the future." "Let me be the first to say that this feels awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awards showcase, #buy display case, #awards store, #unethical filling

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The Boss: Asok, your assignment is to buy a display case for our awards. Then go to the store and buy a bunch of awards because we don't have any. Asok: The next one is for 'Best Unethical Filling of an Awards Showcase.