Value Comic Strips - Page 2
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138 Results for Value
View 11 - 20 results for value comic strips. Discover the best "Value" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 02,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, volunteers, cell phone, ratbert, car salespeople
Transcript
Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "With oxygen and food nearly depleted, the Bioworld volunteers become philosophical." Dogbert and Ratbert communicate using cellular phones. Ratbert says, "Some of the volunteers think that because they're car salespeople you don't value their lives . . ." Dogbert says, "If that were true, how can you explain that we put you in there too?" Ratbert says, "That's what I said, but it didn't seem to cheer them up."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday November 16,
1993
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, zap, building, anti-social
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. As Dilbert assembles a device, Dogbert says, "I was wondering if you could build a phaser pistol so I can zap the many fools I encounter every day." Dogbert continues, "Nothing lethal, just enough to make them twitch wildly and scream. It would be fun." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't be very nice to the fools." Dogbert replies, "I just think you guys should provide more value to society."
Wednesday March 09,
1994
Tags assurance, value, average employee, less of us, more work, downsizing, layoffs, warning, fewer employees
Transcript
The Boss: "I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase." Dilbert: "Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work?" "I'm right, aren't I?" The Boss: "Except for the 'us' part."
Friday April 08,
1994
Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, Dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer
Transcript
"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?
Saturday April 09,
1994
Tags bad luck, lottery tickets, fabulous wealth, delight, hedonistic, yesterdays date, old, expired, scam, scammer, cheater, rat, dog, animals
Transcript
"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"
Wednesday July 20,
1994
Tags head of market research, 120k salary, value opinions, refrence, honesty, pay these days
Transcript
"I got a job as the head of market research at your company. I'll be pulling down $120 K per year." "I don't value otehr people's opinions so I'll just use my own." "Just for reference, how much does honesty pay these days?" "Shut up."
Thursday July 28,
1994
Tags gerard depardieu, ceo, productive work, overhead transparencies, exaggerate value, uglier coworkers, actors
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Friday September 16,
1994
Tags throwing out cat, no value, widen demograohic, make you immortal, bargaining, wants to stay
Transcript
"You have to go, Cat. You have no value to us." "Actually, my mere existence will widen your demographic appeal and makeyou immortal." "Oh...a Cat. That's original." "Give it a rest, 'Mickey'."
Sunday January 15,
1995
Tags avoid completing, do it right, does anything, fear of mistakes, higher quality, inspire, morale low, new philosophy, paralyzed, punish anybody, realize mistakes, value opinion, victims
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy
Sunday March 12,
1995
Tags draft documentation, get soon, lowly tech writer, big important engineer, fruit of labor, validate, value on planet, blank pages, bluffing for months
Transcript
Tina asks Dilbert, "Did you review my draft documentation yet?" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Uh . . . I'll get to it soon." Tina says, "That's what you've been saying since July!!" Tina continues, "I know I'm only a lowly technical writer and you're a big important engineer . . ." Tina screams, "But is it too much to ask for you to glance at the fruits of my labor?!!!" Tina grabs Dilbert's tie and yells, "Five lousy mintues is all it would take to validate my value on this planet! Read it, you fetid pile of compost!!" Dilbert opens a binder and says, "Okay, okay! I'll read it right now!" Dilbert says, "These pages are blank! You've been bluffing for months!" Tina looks nervous. Tina says, "I think I'll go have a yummy compost salad with delicious fetid cheese." Dilbert says, "I'm going to look up those words."

